(Interviewer) Welcome everyone to the new home of elkangaroo. We are all very excited to get to know this marsupial and why he's here today.

Welcome El, we'd like to start with a little getting to know you interview, if that's alright with you.

(EK) Sure.

(Interviewer) Well, lets get started then shall we?

I: Who is elkangaroo?

EK: No one, he doesn't exist. I made him up. In reality, I'm a boring software engineer. I work, I bankrupt myself with hobbies like 3d printing, homelab, diy projects, and crypto currency, I sleep. That's it. For the purposes of the blog however, I am a spanish kangaroo that doesn't speak spanish.

I: Why are you here?

EK: Glad you asked. I can get long winded on the philosophy, but I'll try to keep this short. I haven't had my adderall today and it's not within my power to be long winded today. Therefore, I see two possible explanations as to why I'm here.

I'm a Sim, and my player is playing my character while in a constant state of intoxication.
There is a god, and god has a really terrible sense of humor.

I've detested social media since it's inception. It's always seemed like a bunch of self important pricks who want to show off their shit to the world. With that said however, I'm addicted to it like a bad reality tv show. So now I think it's time for me to ... wait why the fuck is there a another numbered list below this.. ok fixed that I'm back. Anyway, I think it's time for me jump in and show the world my shit. For your sake, we'll all hope that I'm speaking figuratively here, but to be honest, it's anyones guess as to what I will do. Squirrel.

I: Has anyone told you that you're weird.

EK: No.

I: You're weird.

EK: That's not a question asshole.

I: OK, How does it feel to be weird?

EK: Glorious. Every day I look around me at people who make me believe in zombies. They sit, they work, they have the same conversation over and over again, rinse and repeat. I don't know how they do it. Regimen is my enemy.

I: Sure, but there's no way you're like this in real life. How could you possibly hold down a job or make a living?

EK: You'd be surprised what people will tolerate, and my ability to not care about consequences that most people fear as much as they fear death. Fun fact, I've been clinically dead... it's not that scary. It turns out that no one want's to be negative or share honest opinions with one another anymore. It all has to go through some asinine filtering process. What you're left with is some incoherent twisting of the facts such that you can never really use feedback from others as a means to better yourself. The only thing that matters, and I can't stress this enough is to be true to yourself and not give a shit about what anyone else thinks about it. The only time I have experienced failure in life is when I have censored myself, or tried to fit in. In my career, people tend to avoid me if they can because I'm a source of severe social discomfort, but I get shit done, so they keep me around as a source of profit. In my personal life... my wife, is still learning how to cope with her poor decision, and my kids just have no choice. As self centered as I seem, they are the reason for everything. I grew up being told that I needed to act within the social norms, and I hope that I set an example that you don't have to live your life that way in order to be "successful", for whatever that means. ...

I: Are you done yet? I don't think anyone is reading anymore.

EK: I'll be done when I'm dead.