Well, I think enough time has passed since we came back from our honeymoon that it is safe to say my sleepless nights are not attributed to delayed effects of jet lag. This is insomnia.

I can't blame it on crazy late shifts at work tonight... I've been off for 3 days, so I should have been able to get to bed at a decent time. And I did get in to my bed ... about 4 hours ago 😒

And now I'm heading into what I am sure will be a long weekend diagnosing more and more flu, rehydrating kiddos that refuses to drink at home for mom or dad, catching appendicitis before it ruptures, the satisfying "nursemaid elbow" that I usually can fix with one quick maneuver before the kid even realizes I'm moving their arm. Whatever this weekend holds in store, I don't know, that's the beauty and mystery of the emergency room. But I will have to find some energy to get through it on just a few hours sleep if my brain doesn't just settle down already.

I started out trying to lay (or is it lie?) in the dark with my eyes closed, not turning to my phone to entertain me... at first. I tried relaxing breathing, cuddles with my zonked out husband who can so easily get his Zzz's. I used my "sleepy time" aromatherapy lotion. I even had double workouts today, first a booty whooping trainer session, then later on an hour of Zumba. And some mental exercise at the Escape room tonight with my family, being challenged with puzzles and clues. I drank more water today than most other days. And yet, here I am wide awake. Making mental lists, catching up on my unplaced rounds of Words with Friends, doing some needless browsing on Amazon just because Prime is convenient and what if there's a good deal, but no, it's not that good of a price and well actually no, we don't even need that.

I've realized slowly over time that I have actually become a bit ADD in the past year. I started noticing the behavioral trend in the past year while trying to be my own wedding planner. So many details I didn't realize I would need to address and research and choose. In retrospect, I should've just paid someone the money I was trying to save, let them handle the hassles, and just enjoy the beauty of it. But I digress, in true ADD-style I suppose, which is unusual for me. My whole life I always had great focus and that was never a problem for me in school or college or grad school. But 2017-present day me is very deficient in focus and ability to give my attention to one task at a time all the way to completion. I'm sure this insomnia too is a side effect, or maybe a symptom of the same dysfunction.

I need a fix for the insomnia already! Sleeping pills are not an option. Benadryl doesn't make me sleepy. Hopefully expressing myself here to other Steemians who might have been here before will help to empty my mind enough to sleep for at least 5 hours. I can get by on 5 hours. I would love to sleep more- I do love sleep- but the clock tells me otherwise.