I found out why I look like shit on photographs - it´s my face.

Sometimes you feel like a banana - surrounded by monkeys

The next hurricane should be named Donald

At school we were not allowed to use a pocket calculator, the teacher said that later in our lifes we would not be carrying one with us every day.

An old legend says you have to sacrifice your leaders to get good weather.

The next hurricane should be named Scott Pruitt

Remember the time when the only thing that the US President did was having sexual intercourse with an intern. Those times are long past.

In Harry Potter books this is implausible: Harry Potter never has to clean his glasses. I would like to have glasses like that.

Because of sexual harrassment Kevin Spacey is not allowed to play the role as US President in House of Cards any more - the only thing he can now become is real US President

Sex is a contagious disease always leading to death

Conversation through closed door. Son: Father, you´ve been in the bathroom now for more than 15 minutes". Father:"So what?" Son: "Want me to bring you the charging cable?" THIS

residents of the white house are the wildebeest of human race

At school we were not allowed to use a pocket calculator. The teacher said that later in our lifes we would not be carrying one with us every day.