thanks

Two men are stranded on a deserted island. One despairs, but the other one claps him assuredly on the back and says, “Don’t worry, they will definitely find us, and soon.” “Really? Why do you think so?”

thanks

I just came back from a court. They charged the guy with bringing his own bag of candy, popcorn and soda to the cinema. It’s really unjust that he lost. Eventually he had to pay the court fees and legal

When somebody makes you really angry, count to three. When you get to two, punch them in the face. They won’t be expecting that.

When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor. When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it. When your

I was the best door-to-door security alarms salesmen for many years running. The trick was to just leave a brochure on the kitchen table if there was nobody home.

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. They’re fiercely efficient and not really given to jokes.

A smoothie. The miracle of selling somebody a peach and a banana for $5.

I hope the children will never find out why I say ‘oooops….” so often when I vacuum their rooms.

Today, I found a mosquito, I sat right next to it and kept on buzzing so he would see what it’s like, not being able to sleep!

I read the mass chicken farms pump chickens full of antibiotics. Well, that would at least explain why chicken soup is so good when you have a cold.

I was going to start a Procrastinators Club. But then I realized I’d have to reject anyone who actually turned up at the meeting so I decided to put it off again.

it's too soon to tell... a loot less new memes now and with the 50rep+ bot has nothing to vote for at this moment - last vote 3h ago :D we will see after this storm pass how is dmania doing

Mobile - Update Tablet – Update Laptop - Update TV – Update Gaming console – Update Somehow I’m afraid to plug in the iron.

At a psychiatric ward: “Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he’s a wolf.” Doctor: “Whatever you do, don’t let his grandmother visit!”

thanks like always

What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? A slow swimmer.

Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them? You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”