You’re a thief and let’s be honest, I’ve known you since college when you were playing straight and taking my dick on the regular. You have lied and cheated on every girl you have dated since I have known

I was in one of those with you. First off let’s be real, you’re a lazy bum and you wouldn’t mow the yard or trim it. Not real sure why your aiming this at “ladies” because I was fucking you in the ass

Boyfriends don’t steal 4500 dollars from the other and promise to pay it back before running off with some fat girl and trying to get a side piece from a boy that’s 18 and knows their son. You’re a piece

Brand new to all of it, feel like my grandmother must have the first time they used a VCR! Check out this Mix I made:

As your boyfriend, I kinda assumed you were gay, but even as a turkey with dumbbells you are still in the closet? FML

I named it Barbara Bush. Meet me on the porch tomorrow, me and Barbara are gonna have a tea party...lol.