Father's Day is a really stupid holiday. source Just saying.

So I tried not to kill my mom. Then a douche swooped in and did it anyway. source

So like 92 people came up to me on Friday to say "May the 4th be with you." Giphy 0 said anything to me on Saturday. Revenge of the 5th is so much cooler. Everyone sucks.

In my galaxy, we have the technology to replace severed limbs so of course we could repair this stupid scar on my face. But I decided to keep it because chicks dig scars. Sexy image.

I've been standing here for like 3 hours waiting for this girl to contact me. src We have this special bond where we can experience each other's environment. I'd like to experience her in a wet shirt.

So they had some stupid awards for acting and movies last night. Not that I really care, but I didn't win again. Which is total b.s. considering that I acted like I didn't hate my dad for like 12 years.

I'm not sure if you have heard, but I can do this really cool trick with this one girl who is nobody and comes from nowhere. We can interact physically without being in the same place. It's pretty hot.

This is what it would be like if I were like the typical Force user. src But it's not because I don't suck enough to get my arm cut off like every other idiot.

Everybody always tells me what a great guy my dad was and how I should have patched things up with him. Here's an old home movie of their "hero". "I'm nice men." No you're not jerk!

So that girl wasn't impressed with my dance routine. But that's ok. We all know that you're my true Valentine. And Valentine's Day is lame.

I think this one girl is really into me but she keeps playing it really cool. At the Valentine's Dance, I am going to show her my sweet dance moves. I think she is really going to like them. I've been

I got a new decoration for my office. I can't wait for someone to piss me off so I can cut this to ribbons.

This was the last family picture we took before my dad sent me away. knew I hated parting my hair on that side. What a jerk.

I found a video of me when I was a youngling. What kind of monster would send away such a smart, powerful and adorable youngling? And people still wonder why I hate my dad so much.

Looks like they are making a movie about my dad when he was younger. source Do you think they will show the time he abandoned his son with his crazy uncle who tried to murder him in his sleep? Probably

If you are going to Force link to someone when you are about to get in the shower, it is polite to warn them to put up their umbrella before turning on the water. source I guess some people are just assholes.

What do I think about General Hux? One word: Pussy source

Hey girl, I know you think my clothes look awesome... but wouldn't they look even better on your bedroom floor? Damn it! I have to keep reminding myself she's homeless. She doesn't have a bedroom! source

Hey girl (no one you know), You're so hot that I can't even take my eyes off of you when I sign my name. How about you and I fill out some mortgage documents so I can stare at you all day long? OMG I'm

Do you think that this is a good picture for my tinder profile? I added a little gray so it would really pop. source Not that I care what you think.