waking up should feel like the start of something, a beginning, something, but it doesn't. It feels like yesterday and the day before and the haze doesn't settle before my second cup of coffee and a cigarette

I am never prepared for my reaction to him. The walls I had only got taller, stronger, after the last "relationship" showed itself for what it was. One sided, full of games and devastating long

I feel like the entire world is falling in and I can't make myself care. Nothing particularly unique, new, or devastating happened in the last few days to bring this on, yet I knew it was coming. I knew

I have been told that if this world had to face a nuclear war that the only survivors would be cockroaches and me. I spent a great deal of time trying to understand that statement. My first reaction was

I hate that I feel tired all of the time. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually. Just fundamentally tired, all of the time. Tonight is no different and I have been awake all of three hours.

Numb. Cold. Depressed. Alone. All of these things, all of the time; anymore. In a crowd of people, in my sleep, in my nightmares, these are my constants, my forever companions, my only allies in this battle