"What can I say, life just feels pretty perfect sitting on your best mate's patio drinking a gin and tonic during British summer time"

I first moved abroad 6 years ago on a one ways flight to Singapore.

As a 21 year old graduate struggling to get any sort of decent job, I decided to leave my life behind and move away with hopes of becoming a writer. Since then i’ve found that other expats living in Asia, and other parts of the world, have similar experiences to me when it comes to living away. I thought I’d compile these for those of you Brit's, and everyone else, who lives abroad to read and hopefully you can relate.

Here’s 10 things that happen when you live abroad!

1. No one wants to listen to your traveller's tales 

image via thatkindofwoman.tumblr.com

On your first trip back home you’re so excited to tell everyone about all the life adventures you’ve had - the island-hopping, the wildlife, weekends away to different countries and cities, every thrilling experience. Maybe they will hear you out the first time around, but that's about it. The fact is people really don’t want to hear it. If they haven’t lived abroad before they won’t even be able to imagine what you’re talking about and eventually they will get sick of hearing about your amazing new life. I've come to realise that people often think you're bragging, and you'll end up playing down every experience. So I tend to say absolutely nothing, unless asked. On the plus side, you’ll have lots of new friends to share your new life with - see point 10.

2. Your friends and family think you're mad

image sourced via Pintrest - original source unknown

Unless your friends or family have lived abroad too, they will see you as some kind of beach-bum with a Peter Pan complex trying to escape from real life. If you don’t move with the masses and get excited about things like mortgages, then you’ll be considered a bit unstable.. and maybe a bit mad. Expect questions like ’when do you think you’ll settle down?’. They will probably see their lives as normal and yours as quite frankly inappropriate. Try and remember, it’s just a difference in perspective.

3. There's nothing like a British summer time

Glastonbury Festival 2015

There is something remarkable and rare about the UK in the summer time, isn't there? London feels like the centre of the world and there's no place on Earth I would rather be. Sure, the evenings are still freezing cold and you need to dress for all seasons, but there's something extra special about sitting in a pub garden with a pint, your sunnies and enjoying those light summer evenings with your friends. You just can't replicate that anywhere else. You might think you already know this, but you don't really feel it until you move away.

Don't get me started on the festivals. Anyone who has ever made it to Glastonbury will know just how magical festivals are in the UK during summer. Summer makes the country come alive, everyone is smiling, work doesn't even feel like work and you have so much to look forward to. Everyone moans because it's too hot, but we'll moan most days and no weather will ever be acceptable. We're British after all. What can I say, life just feels pretty perfect sitting on your best mate's patio drinking a gin and tonic during British summer time. You'll miss that when you're away and you'll definitely get your fair dose of FOMO (see point 6.) so I suggest heading back home during the warmer, happier months.

4. People start telling you you’re lucky. All of the time.

It’s the first reaction when I tell someone I live abroad. ‘Wow, you’re so lucky!’. Am I? We all move away for different reasons. For most of us it’s been a sacrifice. Forever missing engagements, weddings, birthdays.. and births come to that. It’s not always an easy ride, but it’s an active choice.. And not by any means luck.

5. You have to forget about food cravings

image via: https://freshoffthegrid.com/vegan-coconut-french-toast/

You’re not going to get your favourite classics served up anywhere.. you’re just not. Even if you try do manage to get your hands on a classic pub roast or an eggs benedict, I promise you it won't be the same. My advice is forget it all. You’ll find new foods you love! I now can’t go more than about four days without nasi goreng (Malaysian style fried rice). Plus when you do visit home and get your hands on some homemade grub, it will be so completely worth it.

6. You get used to giving express explanations of your entire life to strangers

Whenever you meet someone new they will want to know your life story - the abridged, no frills version of your life story that is. Why are you here, how long are you staying for, what condo do you live in.. the works. Intrusive? Actually it becomes pretty standard. Not only do you get used to it, but you get pretty speedy at churning out intimate facts about your life. Potentially handy for some kind of party game? Just saying.

7. Get ready for the FOMO (fear of missing out) 

image via Anthropology.

I have never once been afraid of missing out. In fact, I used to be pretty happy to pass up on a night out in exchange for snuggling down in my pjs and watching Netflix in bed with a pint of squash. That was until I moved abroad. Now when I flick through social media and see my friends having dinner parties, the FOMO takes hold in a big bloody way. Even a facebook-documented trip to the local pub looks like a once in a lifetime experience, just because they are the people you love and you want to be there with them.

8. The guilt trips

image sourced via Pintrest - original source unknown

  ‘But you’ll miss her first birthday!’ I know. I get it and it COMPLETELY sucks. But you have a full time life now too and it’s difficult to take a week out to fly across the other side of the world. You're going to miss a few special occasions and that's just a fact. Your friends and family might come to resent the fact you are away and missing out on their lives, or your joint lives, and are often very vocal about it. Sometimes that means you don’t have the experience you want to being away, because you feel so bad about the way your loved ones feel. If your friends and family are like that, it might not get any easier as time goes on..

9. Home will never feel like home again

image sourced via Pintrest - original source unknown

When you go back home you start seeing the country differently.  I've seen more of Asia than I have of Europe so when I go home to the UK I want to see as much of it as I can, new cities, train journeys into Europe, whatever I can to explore more.  Going into Europe has become exotic. My friends in Singapore would tell me of their dreams of one day seeing Paris or Rome. It’s pretty usual to want to explore new countries and cities, but when something is ‘on your doorstep’ as it were, it feels like it will always be there and we aren't as keen to explore.

On top of this home won't feel like home anymore. Everything will be the same whenever you go home, with the exception of a new baby here and there, but now you've changed and the way you see the world is completely different. You don't feel like you really belong anywhere anymore - and for me that feeling has started to feel kind of comforting in a weird way.

10. Relationships become intense

image sourced via Pintrest - original source unknown

 When you’re back home, how often do you make a new friend? Most of us tend to have our set group of friends, potentially adding in a few new ones here and there when we change jobs, or partners. When you live abroad, if you meet someone you get along with, you’re probably going to become best bloody friends, pretty much instantly. It just happens and actually it doesn’t feel weird. You’re in the same boat. You get each other. I find myself telling my 'new friends' more details about my life than I would to my friends back home, just because they are right here, witnessing my life as it happens. Plus your friends back home won't want to know anyway - see point 7.

The same goes for romantic relationships. You might find yourself moving things forward much more quickly because everything feels much more intenese.. or for the sake of convenience if nothing else. That sounds terribly unromantic, but when you are on the other side of the globe and you meet someone you want to be with, you might move in with them way ahead of ‘schedule’ just because it seems silly to rent two apartments.
There's no wrong or right - it's just different.

If you're a Brit living abroad and you also experience these things please comment and let me know! Or if there is anything else you would add. I would love to hear your experiences!

* all photos belong to me, unless otherwise stated

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