[Event "Live Chess"] [Site "Chess.com"] [Date "2018.08.29"] [White "ptivoleur"] [Black "marki69"] [WhiteElo "1193"] [BlackElo "1229"]

1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6 3.Bc4 Bc5 4.c3 Nf6 5.d4 exd4 6.cxd4 Bb6 7.e5 Na5 8.Bxf7+ Kxf7 9.exf6 Qxf6 10.O-O d5 11.Nc3 Bg4 12.Nxd5 Qg6 13.Re1 Bxd4 14.Qe2 Rhe8 15.Qd2 Bxf3 16.g3 Bxd5 17.Qxa5 Qh5 18.Qxc7+ Kg8 19.Rxe8+

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought "Dogs are easily amused", then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

How long is a Chinese name.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.

Question originally asked on Musing.io - Click here to see other answersBecause one dollar earned today will be worth 50 in a few years!

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

If you can't remember my name, just say 'donuts'. I'll turn around and look.

Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.

It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.