DonJon 2016 Campaign Diary

Post #2: 10:12:56:pt Ivanka 21, 1BTE

“The combover is cast, believe me.” dRUMPfus, June 16, 2015.

On June 16, 2015, NarCissus Germanicus dRUMPfus descended the gilt-n-orange Republicon escalator and declared his intention to pursue conquest over the American Plutocracy and return the Republic to “the real Americans.”

“From that day, with swift and certain mendacious incivility, he chased the Legions of Priebus right, left, south, north, west and east to a final and bitter end at the Battle of Clevelandia.” Hannityus, Imperial Historian of the 1ST TRUMPian TRUMPire.

At the Republican National Convention, in seventy-four fear-heaving minutes, TRUMP spewed 5,157 words of shrill pursed-lipped tele-prompted TRUMPoratory that ended “Morning in America” and brought forth a new “House Divided.” America was no longer a “shining city on a hill,” rather, one would surmise, “a steaming turd in a dumpster fire” that only TRUMP alone could put out.

Declaring himself TRUMPeror TheDonaldCaesar NarcissusAmericanus Swooptopian, dRUMPfus rode TRiUMPhant out of the Quicken, Give-Me-Your-Fucking-Cash Colosseum, wearing a golden combover of diamond encrusted laurel (fake Harry Winston, of course), and the TRiUMPhal Angelo Donghia purple and gold embossed Louis the XIV toga picta.

“Mistake the clown for the crown at your peril.” DonJon.

Following in frothing formation toward the inevitable conquest of the American Plutocracy was the:

Legio tertia decima Alba Racistia, the 13th Old White Racist Legion: a plebiscite of obedient helmet-headed-gun-sucking white-angry militiamen determined to “take back the country” for themselves.

Following safely in tow were the Legio Primo Hypocritae quia Jesus, The First Hypocrites for Jesus Legion, the JesuCrites.

along with a

fawning host of bourgeoisie TRUMPerterians marching with the Weimar Republic Marching Band.

Coming Next- The Plutocracy Defended