Walking Home "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

Half Full The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.

Defendant "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door." Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look. But your client didn’t."

Bus Now at this, there is a noise, a jostling in the line. It seems that one nun is trying to cut in front of another! St. Peter sees this and asks the Nun "Sister Susan, what is this? There is no

Done After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells, "HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"

Not Mine "Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."

Plane Stuartist runs up the isle to tell the pilot to turn off the intercom. The man stands up and says, "Hey hun, dont forget the coffee."

Hospital Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"

Boy When they get bored by theirs!

Parrot ""How come you are sweating?" he asks. The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"

Sex Shop "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"

Dentist The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."

Tit say I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.

Priest At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?" "Yes," says the

Psychiatrist He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"

At Court At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if

Gardening Getting down and dirty with your hoes.

Confession “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”

3 Daughters The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, "Hi, my name's Chuck… --" and the farmer shot him.

War Warrior Younger lady: But please leave our grand mother. Grand mother: Shut up, war is war.