Shoveling snow is like gardening … sometimes a bumper crops up.

I almost hit Bigfoot with my van ... it was a near myth.

. A side effect of a side effect must be a “besides effect”. .

Have you ever “Googled” your name? No, me neither. ... I’m sure if you did, there would be a bunch of cool stuff about … a bunch of people with the same name as yours, people with similar names minus a

All lit candles smell the same to me, … they have a singed eyebrows sort of odor.

When I see costumed characters, I am aware that there is a person in the costume sweating away and doing a job. I think most adults share this awareness. But at Disney Parks, many people seem to forget

The problem with fish and deer is you never know how many are near.

Someone left me something in their Will, but I don’t understand what it is. It’s an incoheritance!

My brain is like a vending machine: sometimes things don't come out ... so I have to shake it a bit.

I saw a snowman in a box. I think that he was dead. I couldn't bury him in the ground. I'll wait for Spring instead.

I like living on the edge … or maybe it’s just the periphery.

An icicle will last just as long at 35°C as it does at 0°C. ... I eat them pretty fast.

When the plane lost both engines, all the passengers and crew put on parachutes and escaped unharmed. It was miraculous that there were just enough parachutes for everyone. You should have been there.

Most people really excel at something. I’m pretty good at traffic lights.

I felt really foolish sitting in the dentist’s chair with the pink paper bib around my neck … especially when they told me I wasn’t going to get a discount for bringing my own.

Technically, when you are wearing 2 different socks, ...it’s the same as wearing one different sock really.

It's actually quite difficult to slip on a banana peel. I never find one in my size ... or the right occasion.

. Why does a little piece of food at the back of your throat make you gag like crazy, … but a piece of lettuce on your tooth can just sit there all day unnoticed? .

When people start choosing sides, it's probably best to choose the blindside … because people never expect that!

I wish I were an elephant. I forget why.