I sang

And I thought I could sing as beautiful and as original as what I listened from the radio and MTV I was naive . . . The first time I listened to my own voice was when I dropped a voice mail to my dad when he didn't pick up his phone. I was 13.

Horrific Annoying Voice

When I got home and replayed the voice message, I was devastated! I couldn't believe that the freaking horrific ugly voice was mine! I was startled! I even played back a few times to verify that that was really me. I stunned. From that day on I became quiet and muffled just because I bothered anyone who would listen to my voice.

People around me rated me as a quiet, kinda "cool" guy, maybe?

Things changed. My thoughts changed. So I changed.

I was 17. I joined National Service Training Program. The Conscripts that are selectively drafted. The merely 3-months program had changed my perspective in self-esteem drastically. A life-worth experience. I didn't expect that it's coming. nor my peers did.

I've transformed to be more outspoken and out-going.

Why would I care while nobody really care who on Earth you are? Just truly be who you originally are. You be the original you.

Emcee for the first time

Fast forward to my first full time job, I've grown tremendously - be it at my job technical skill sets or interpersonal skill. One thing I did not quite expect though was that my manager picked me to be the Emcee for the company annual dinner event. It was the second year since I worked with the company. I was in shock. I literally asked, "Why me?" She replied with giggle, "We need new blood to brighten up the atmosphere, you are the right one." "I ... I ... I ... Am I? Can I?", I hesitated. "I know you can", my lady manager replied full of confidence in me (literally). "Alright I'd like to take the challenge!", after my colleagues long haul encouraged me. And Bang! Me and my partner standing on the stage for the first time in front of 150 invitees.

Spot light on us, they can't handle us. I thought I quite liked the spot light :)

Two years in a row

Unimaginable Unbelievable Unforgettable The next year I was chosen to be the president of the company committee. On top of that Polling result with majority voted me and the same partner to be the Emcee for the company annual dinner, Again. The gala dinner was an enormous event international guests from Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Canada. It was a fun beachie themed evening.

Emcee for the second time! Why not the third time? I resigned a month later Because I have the urge To get out from the comfort zone to unveil the world on my own.

Best Man for my close girl friends

Very soon in October I will be Emcee for my very close girl friend's wedding dinner. This is gonna be my second time emcee-ing after my virgin wedding dinner Emcee dedicated to my another close girl friend back in 2013. (Coincidentally the same year I first became the company dinner Emcee) This time The bride-to-be wishes that I could have an opening speech for them. I agreed, without hesitation. The toughest and most challenging part I guess, ain't about stage fright but to speak trilingual in public - English, Mandarin and Cantonese. Well that's her request and see what we got :)

Sneak peek the bride-to-be who was Ugly Betty with her braces on.

I sing, so what

Yes. That's right. Although I still hate my voice. I can't bother too much how people would listen and judge my voice. Be it that I speak or sing. My point here is that, Most of the time we are fearful internally just because we predominantly THOUGHT that we COULDN'T make it without even TRYING to give a shot! That inferno fear turns into demon who keeps demoralizing you and shrunk you in size. Free the fear Free that demon Free yourself from unnecessary worries and SING outta your lungs! -Peace Out-

Posted from seandeanayao blog with SteemPress : http://seandeanayao.vornix.blog/2018/08/04/seanology-3-i-hated-my-voice/