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Tales of Writing
@talesofwriting
42
I write with words and love. Get off my lawn.
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March 26, 2018
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talesofwriting
funny
2018-05-08 08:07
A Distracting UFO
Have you ever been watching someone dance in the park only to be distracted by the UFO landing behind them? Those UFOs need to stick to the designated UFO landing areas.
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-05-05 22:32
Unicorn Farts Poem
Unicorn farts, Full of magic and love. Be careful if, They rain from above. The smell is like, The sweetest dream. They taste just like, Delicious ice cream. If a unicorn is near, There's one thing to
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talesofwriting
funny
2018-05-04 23:12
Can of Farts Poem
When exploring smells, And exploring the arts, What can be sweeter, Than a can of farts.
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talesofwriting
funny
2018-05-03 09:07
Impressing People
If you really want to impress people, considering carrying with you a pan and a small bucket of water. When you find a place you deem appropriate, place the pan on the ground and fill it with the water.
$ 33.407
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-04-30 20:32
Space Mysteries Haiku Poem
Gazing at the stars, While they twinkle and gaze back, Mysteries in space.
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-04-29 06:55
Zoo Visit Poem
Visiting the zoo, Majesty, wonder, Natural beauty, natural strength, Light shimmers on water, Plays in trees, Don't stand down-wind from the elephants, They like to eat fruit and fart.
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-04-28 23:15
Cheeseburger Massage Poem
A cheeseburger, Full of drippy cheese, Lovingly cradled on a warm bun, Is a great thing to eat, But doesn't make, A great massage tool.
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-04-28 20:40
A Bright Day Poem
A warm, bright day, Wispy clouds play tag, Is that rain? No, it’s a flock of birds.
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talesofwriting
advice
2018-04-28 09:12
A Smelly Compliment
Smiling at random people can be a nice thing to do. Going up to random people and saying, "You smell nice," might not have the same effect.
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talesofwriting
poetry
2018-04-27 22:59
A Flying Farting Bird Haiku Poem
A flying bird farts, Which then makes it fly faster, Natural turbo boost.
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talesofwriting
gaming
2018-04-27 22:33
Innovation in Game Controls
If Nintendo created a new game controller based around farting, people wouldn’t get to play their games that often, and it would add a certain fragrance to game parties. Then Nintendo would also try to
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-27 19:39
A Relaxing Story
Once upon a time Bert and Ernie were lying in bed as stars twinkled across a cool night sky. “Hey Bert?” said Ernie. “Yeah Ernie?” said Bert. Ernie rolled over to face Bert. “Wanna give me some ASMR?”
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-27 06:48
Bath Visit Story
Once upon a time a wizard was taking a bath, a yellow rubber ducky peeking through his long gray beard. “Oh rubber ducky, you’re so playful,” he said. He looked up and saw Ernie standing beside the tub.
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talesofwriting
education
2018-04-27 00:23
Recycled Energy
Remember, on the Starship Enterprise their technology is such that they can recycle matter back into energy, to be used later with the replicator. So the next time Picard orders a burger, it might be made
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-24 23:23
A Story of Transcendent Simplicity
Once upon a time a man was walking through his local park. He breathed deeply, enjoying the clean, cool air. A bird flapped its wings and nestled among the trees. The man smiled. He liked birds.
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-24 03:15
A Unicorn’s Magic Story
Once upon a time a beautiful magical unicorn sauntered into a corner convenience store. “Hey, no animals allowed!” said the clerk, sure there must be someone right outside the doors that was guiding the
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-22 04:56
The Wobbly Sword Story
Once upon a time a giant sparkling knight appeared in the midst of a group of hooligans. “Behold, I am the Knight of the Wobbly Sword,” he said. Scratching his brow the lead hooligan said, “What’s that
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talesofwriting
education
2018-04-17 02:09
Avoiding Bears
Remember, the best way to avoid bears in the wilderness is to not go into the wilderness in the first place.
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talesofwriting
education
2018-04-14 02:31
Friendly Gorillas
Remember, gorillas at the zoo don't much care for it when you press your bare backside up against the glass and fart.
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talesofwriting
story
2018-04-11 20:56
Star Trek: Being Cute
Stars slid across the view screen in soft streaks. Captain Picard shifted in his chair. “Data, adjust course for Starbase 26.” Data turned in his chair to face Captain Picard, lowered his chin and looked
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