I would like to first open with an excerpt from a lecture of one of my favourite modern day philosophers, because it was this line that opened my eyes to seeing the world in a truly different light, and to continue striving on for whatever it is today -

Let's suppose that you were able every night to dream any dream you wanted to dream, and that you could for example have the power within one night to dream 75 years of time, or any length of time you wanted to leave.

And you would, naturally as you began, on this adventure of dreams, you would fulfill all your wishes. You would have every kind of pleasure during your sleep. And after several nights of 75 years of total pleasure each you would say "Well that was pretty great". But now let's have a surprise, let's have a dream which isn't under control, where something is gonna happen to me that I don't know what it's gonna be.

And you would dig that and would come out of that and you would say "Wow that was a close shave, wasn't it?". Then you would get more and more adventurous and you would make further - and further - out gambles what you would dream.

And finally, you would dream where you are now.

You would dream the dream of living the life -

that you are actually living today.

The Dream of Life by Alan Watts

When I was 19, I was supposed to be living my life. Going to college, going to parties (going to college parties), chasing girls, studying, traveling, and getting ready for an amazing life set ahead of me.

When I was 19 my world came crashing down.

When I was 19, my mother died.

Carcinoma of Unknown Origin. Whatever that means. I don't really understand their handwriting much less the technical terms they use. Or maybe because when I found out, every single bit of sound was sucked out into the atmosphere and I couldn't even hear my heartbeat. I couldn't even hear the thundering silence. You know that familiar ringing in your ears when everything is too quiet? Yeah, nothing.

And it was with her death, my life could truly begin.

My stepfather kicked me out of the house (I never got a long with him from day one), and I had to move whatever I had with me into a small storeroom with 50 bucks in my bank account.

The first thing I did after that was take her death certificate (it's funny how papers are important to humanity, even when you die you get one to celebrate your achievement) and head to the Employee Providence Fund (EPF/KWSP) office. She told me prior that she'd left me in my name a decent sum of her savings to start my life out. Maybe get out of the country and study overseas and see where that goes.

At the counter I was told that it wasn't in my name listed as the benefactor.

At the counter I was told that my mother's hard earned money (All 100k of it) which she left for me to start my life out, wasn't mine.

At the counter I was told that my stepfather had come in here a few weeks ago with my mother's consent, and had it changed to his name.

What did I do after that? I ran crying to my uncle and aunt of course! And they told me that the nurses actually told them that one day when they were cleaning my mother, they found ink on both her thumbs. Unfortunately since we didn't hire a lawyer to declare her of non-sound state of mind, there's nothing we could or can do.

I cannot tell you the amount of hatred I had for that man. The venom in my being. I was willing to sell my soul to the devil himself if only to watch another human suffer in torment at my own leisure and amusement. But I know that life doesn't work this way and if you choose for it to happen, not one but two graves are dug. One for the person, and the other is for you. And I wasn't ready to get into any grave yet. I know there was more to life.

Fast forward I took a student loan and signed up for a degree. Got a job after I graduated and never looked back. I kept moving up the rungs in life one day at a time. Sure there were moments where I would stare at the ceiling, thinking, wondering, is this where life stops for me? Is this where my destiny is? There were many needs and wants I wanted in life (and I truly understood it, I did psychology, and much to my chagrin they were sometimes very needless things haha)

And every time that happened, I slap myself and think back to when I first moved into a storeroom with 50 bucks to my name. I never dreamed I'd have a computer to game on much less write this post on (PC Master Race: may your FPS be high and temps be low), nor a 2000 sq ft apartment, where I have claimed the master bedroom (en suite bathroom) as my private domain, and a job that pays for it all.

Every time I get to go out on a date, I think of where it all began.

Every time I go for drinks, parties or just to chill out with my friends, I think of where it all began.

Every time I close my eyes when I go to bed, I think of where it all began.

And I smile.

Sic Parvis Magna - Sir Francis Drake

My name is Aris Raphael and I've lived an interesting first quarter of my life, and I'll be here to bring you guides, advice, and philosophical ramblings that would make Socrates shake his head in embarrassment. Whether practical and useful, or downright nonsensically ridiculous (get this guy away from his keyboard) I'll leave it up to you.