My Identity

Oxford dictionary defines identity as "the fact of being who or what a person or thing is". In other words, identity is simply everything that makes a person who they are. There are a plethora of physical features that make up a person, but social, ethnic and cultural aspects are what influences are behavior. Some spend their entire life soul searching, trying to find their identity. I on the other hand, have found and accepted my identity. It did not always that way however, at times I would think of myself as the black sheep of the family. It was not until I started searching for an identity, that I began to find what made me unique from the rest.

I like to identify myself as part of the larger "American" culture. An "American" is a generalized term and therefore reaches a larger demographic. Maybe it is due to ethnocentrism, but I have always felt a sense of American pride, even with all of it's faults. Mass communication has allowed us to peer into other subcultures and has made it easier to assimilate into the melting pot that America is.

My ethnic identity, on the other hand, is a bit more complicated. Although I am considered to be African American, I actually considered myself an Americanized mixture of Nigerian and Trinidadian. The authors of Understanding Intercultural Communication make a valid point when it comes to African Americans and ethnic identity. "African Americans might well subscribe to both collectivistic and individualistic values-in blending both ethnic African values and assimilated U.S values- for the purposes of survival and adaptation"( 81 Ting-Toomey & Chung). It is this change in values that cause a divide in my family; those who have stayed in Nigeria or Trinidad, think we are uncultured. I consider the term to be offensive, we have simply assimilated by keeping the values that we believe are the most important and have erased those that do not seem necessary. You could say that my immediate family has a lower-than-average ethnic identity. I believe the root cause of this is the fact that we are not really interested in learning about our background and instead are more focused on our day-to-day activities. Since we are not involved or immersed in the culture of our ancestors, we have decided to make a subculture of our own: a mix of Nigerian, Trinidadian and American values.

Social identity is what really makes us unique as person because in addition to cultural and ethnic identity, it is another layer that makes different from everyone else. I classify myself as a middle-class African-American freshman a love for music, technology and business. These characteristics are what make me different from other people which, as I found out growing up in America, is not necessarily a bad thing.

I decided to ask my mother and father about my ethnic background and they were able to give enlighten me about my family's history. My mother was born in Manchester England in 1976. As a child, she struggled with her identity as well. My mother lived in England until they moved to America when she was only six years old. This impacted my her in a negative way: she was always seen as the black girl who had a British accent.This lack of belonging had caused her to assimilate into American culture. My mother is also a very religious women and her beliefs has stayed with her well until Adulthood. She was the first on her side to convert to Christianity from being Catholic. My grandparents shortly followed in her footsteps. I believe that religion has made an enormous impact on the way she raised my siblings and I.

My father has a similar story, which would explain the reason that he holds the same ideas when it comes to culture. As a child, my father grew up in a small tribe in Nigeria. As the eldest of his siblings, he remembers having to work hard to make sure his family was able to put food on the table. I believe this is the source of his more conservative attitude. When my father had moved to America, he had found himself in an unknown world.But, as he grew accustomed to life in America, he began to really enjoy the American lifestyle. My father is religious as well and holds faith above everything else in life. As a Christian, he encourages my siblings and I to stay true to the faith.

I hate being the new kid. As much as I love being different from everyone else, I dislike being too different. Yet, when you are the new kid, you are considered different from everyone else. No one knows who you are and you have to explain your life story over and over again. I struggled with making friends as a kid because I never had the time to create a real bond with others. As I grew older, I grew accustomed to making new friends and relocating, convincing myself that moving is an opportunity to start again. This made it easier to accept my situation as well as my identity. Identity isn't what others claim you are, it is what you want it to be.

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