Someone’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.

Les Brown

A lot of successes over the course of history (and failures) can be attributed to self-esteem. People with gargantuan self-esteem inevitably gained success and those who possess it minutely reaped nothing but utter failure.

What is self-esteem anyway? Why is it so important to discern that this attribute could determine someone’s fate in life?

Self-esteem is nothing more than the way you perceive yourself. It’s how you appraise or put value or none of it upon yourself. You have a healthy self-esteem when you feel good about yourself and you are confident when dealing with all sorts of people or circumstances. You have an unhealthy self-esteem if your opinion of yourself is low. Think of the former as someone who can easily pick up the mic in a karaoke bar and belt out a tune in the middle of a crowd and the latter who trembles even at the thought of picking up the same mic in the same karaoke bar.

Your having a high or low self-esteem is a direct result of past and even current life experiences which include:

1) Your parents’ opinion of you – You’re such a smart boy! / You don’t amount to nothing at all!

2) School competitions – Were you an MVP or just a lowly benchwarmer?

3) How you get along with your peers – Were you the bully or the constant target for bullies?

4) Job – Were you a success or a failure at sales, etc.?

5) Love life – I’m a love machine / I’m a loser and nobody likes me

6) Difficult circumstances – Were you decisive and made successful decisions or were you left cold and failed miserably?

It is important to realize that having a high or low self-esteem is an essential path to successful living. It goes without saying that people with good self-esteem attract success without a sweat while those who have low self-appraisal are doomed to a crippling failure virtually for life.

How can one boost his self-esteem?

First, you must realize that no two people are ever alike. We are all unique and that we all have our own weaknesses and strengths. You may not be a good public speaker but you may certainly be a great writer. I may not be a good swimmer but I can definitely belt out a tune.

Second, choose an area in your life that you love but needs improvement. It could be your job, your love life, your social life, a skill or a talent. Say, for example, you’re in a sales job. You can’t seem to make people set an appointment with you. Sit down and think for a while. Ask yourself questions. Am I talking to the right people? Are they the right fit for the products or services that I’m offering? Am I calling enough people? Am I saying the right words to them?

Upon finding out the root cause of your problem, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you found out that you haven’t been calling enough people when you should be calling at least 20 people a day, visualize first doing that very thing that you should be doing. Imagine yourself calling on 20 or more people a day. Visualize yourself enjoying the moment and reaping the rewards later on. Hear yourself talking to them with a smile and imagine your prospects at the other end of the line smiling back at you. Heighten this experience by imagining as if you are actually doing it.

Third, detach yourself from other people by not competing with them. Instead, compete with yourself. Let’s repeat that. Compete with yourself! So you haven’t tried calling 20 people a day yet. Why not one-upping yourself and see if you can beat yourself to it? Were you only able to call 10 people per day previously? Make it 15 today! Make it 20 tomorrow. Make it 25 the day after tomorrow. Remember, to feel good about yourself, compete only with yourself. You’d be surprised at how badly you’d beaten other people at the end of the day when you’d finally surpassed your own achievements.

Act today and put all your strengths and knowledge to good use. Constantly improve your self-esteem by improving yourself through positive thinking and a fierce competition against yourself. Try it.