Why are our lives so dull? Why do we lack excitement, passion, zest, joy?
We keep our cards to our chest. We only want to give something if a return is guaranteed. Else, we won’t give.
We think that to posses and limit our energies is somehow a smart strategy. We are unaware that exactly this possessiveness is the reason most of us are continuously tired.
Why most of us lack Life. Why most of us lack intrinsic motivation. Why so many of us lack sunshine.
Our desires are, by and large, settled. We know what we want and what we don not want.
We have established clear lines of demarcation between what we find desirable and what we find undesirable. In doing so, we can infer what kind of person we are.
When we cannot see ourselves in certain people, we won’t hang out with them. If we cannot see ourselves in certain situations, we won’t enter them.
In this way we keep our identity, desires and routines established, fixed. With very little space for deviation.
With the freezing of our desires, we have frozen ourselves.
And we wonder why Life seems boring, dull, void of Life, void of sparkles, void of meaning, spectacle, wonder, magic.
Joy needs space.
And if we close ourselves inwardly, Joy has no change of touching you.
We all know repetition kills. Yet, we go on. Hoping for a miracle that will never take place.
Joy requires something from you. And, if you are not willing to give freely, that is, without a particular return in mind, you won't have space within to receive Life’s continues unexpected gifts of Joy, amazement, wonder and yes, Love.
Our love runs through very small channels of ever repeating patterns that offer us some stability. Of something we can rely upon.
For Life itself, our collective myths seem to whisper, cannot be relied upon.
There is nothing wrong with repetitions and patterns. They come forth out of deep emotional needs. So, to condemn them, think that they are stupid and unnecessary it to speak before your turn.
There is Life in these patterns and repetitions, yet we hardly notice it.
At once we accept and condemn them.
We accept them for we say we have no choice. We condemn them for they make us feel empty and worthless.
We live according to them, though they give us a great deal of stress, for they are never capable of overlapping with Life as it unfolds.
There is always a discrepancy, an unbridgeable gap.
Though we derive some sense of stability out of them, at once they keep us tipping out of balance, for each pattern is inherently inadequate when it comes to responding fully to the demands of each unique situation.
In reaction to that, we complain. We complain and blame. Either ourselves or others, yet it is the same phenomenon and waste of energy.
We complain and phantasize. About a different Life, about a different kind of Life, about being someone else all together.
Which is silly.
For all the willpower in the world, and all the imagination in the world, will not make us somebody else.
Not now. Not ever.
We dream about what we have had when times were good and summer seemed to last forever.
Or, hope that a future event, or person will complete our lives, rid us of our boredom and meaninglessness.
We hope to find a fountain that will never stop showering its gifts upon us.
Which is ironic, for that is where we are right now. Which is the crazy little thing called Life.
Yet, we are stuck in habits and thus, everlastingly, want more.
Though we may find our daily routines dull, boring, tedious, lifeless, quite the opposite is true.
If only you really get with them. If only you join them. If only you payed attention enough to feel the energy of Life running through your habits.
But, if you go through your routines mechanically, if you try to delegate them to the auto-pilot called known as the unconsciousness, if you try to carry out these stupid and tedious tasks as unawarely as possible, with as great a detachment and mental distance as possible, obviously you stand no change of feeling the Life in them.
Yet, your very own awareness is capable of performing the miracle of returning Life to the dead. Of turning a dead and dull thing into something in which you can lose yourself.
Yet, this is the condition.
That you are ready to give yourself, willing to lose yourself and sense of self-enclosure.
Routines, habits, patterns and so forth are an expression of intelligence. The strategy behind it is to avoid insecurity, doubt and inner conflict. It is to keep up the flow, albeit an artificial one. After all, one does not need to think before one acts, one has programmed these actions. Therefor the flame of actual, creative, flexible and aware intelligence is burning only very dimly.
But, the flame is still alive in your routines, no matter how unaware one attempts to be of it. No matter how much effort one puts in avoiding becoming aware of it.
It is still there, albeit completely regulated.
The energy of freedom is the same energy that goes into these patterns.
The energy has merely lost its quality of creativity. It’s life-serving, life-protecting function is merely expressed differently.
So, there is no need to long for holidays in a far away exotic country. There is no need for a change of job, a change of wife or husband. For a motorcycle adventure.
To live for holidays seems to be the greatest waste of a Life imaginable.
The adventure is here. The playground is all around you.
You are playing anyway, you are doing it anyway.
There is no need to change routines. When you live them fully, they will snap like a water hose unleashing itself due to too much water pressure.
Life will throb in them. And your routines will no longer be capable of confining, containing it. They will burst.
Literally.
And the energy within them will express itself freely, intelligently. And this freedom, this space, will offer you all the flowers you were searching for.
That you were seeking for somewhere else, that you were seeking for in trying to be like someone else, that you were searching for in a time ahead or a time long gone by.
This may sound all lovey-dovey, hippy-dippy, but if you truly desire to live, if you really want the ride and adventure of your Life.. you better strap on.