Hi Andiloveall,
I can absolutely relate to what you said in the video! Spending the major part of my adult life searching for success in material, artistic and relationship form it all came down to a crashing halt. Completely fixated on being unsuccessful as a mid 40s person, no family, no savings, etc. life was just a pain in the ass. Things have changed now and the focus is on things that are absolutely worthwhile. I won’t get into that now, as it is a broad subject.
As a musician I also did many jobs I’m embarrassed about. Real crappy gigs! But it was about making money to pay the rent. But at the moment I’ve come to peace with myself and have a simple job anyone can do. It pays the rent and that’s good for now. On Steemit, and soon everywhere I feel like „working“, I can do whatever pleases. The focus is to manage an income to once again pack my bag and … TRAVEL! Although having a home is a calming situation, being on the road and living wherever you want is just as exciting! More life happens on the road :)
And who knows what we are all searching for really. My guess is; home. And my next guess is; it’s not on this plane.
So happy travels and adventures and good luck with your art. I’ll be following what you do.

Have a lovely day :)