What helped me were questions from others who were interested in my maturation. It was critique I received from people I trusted or chose to trust. As well as kind behavior I observed from someone to another one. I learned a lot during my education in becoming a consultant for social affairs. I don't know if that were the exact words but our teacher asked us: "You sure you act as a person of authority or as a person of need when you command your children?"

Regarding parenting I learned a lot from Jesper Juul, a Danish family therapist who said: "Many parents do play their parenthood. They do not fill out their roles as parents but turn it into an act. They treat children as if they were their projects". I felt to be caught myself in that. It was a shocking and hurting insight. Guess, my mom also played a huge part in it as she never questioned her authority over me. The total lack of an analytical mind saved her from all the insecurities of modern people. It had its downsides, that is also true.

My daily helpers are buddhist monks and nuns to which I listen on youtube. Their lectures are quite humorous and wise. Great teacher is my son. :)

A quote I also heard: "The biggest favor you can do to your parents is not to create them."

I think that counts also for children.

Where do you take from what supports you?