Change – the word that contributed in no small way to change the ruling party in Nigeria in 2015. It became a mantra for many Nigerians. They had it on their lips but were not aware of the call that came with the word. When they said “Change,” they hardly realized they had a part to play but believed that one man will fix everything when he becomes the leader. Hardly did people reflect to see where they were also contributing to the woes of Nigeria. They did not realize that the very change they crave had to start with themselves. This knowledge was lacking. The time is ripe for us to look inwards and try to know a little more about our very selves. A reflection concerning our thoughts and inclinations will help. We have to become more aware of ourselves and the consequences of our actions and inactions. That is what this post is about not politics.
A lot of people tend to hang on to false ideas. This gives them illusion. Our illusions are against reality. He who connects with reality hardly gets disappointed. People who are not in touch with reality like many who shouted “Change” in 2015 see people in an unrealistic way. They do not see through human beings because they do not see through themselves. Such people pay a price. A priest preaches about forgiveness at the pulpit but he harbours grudges against some of his parishioners. A pastor talks about guarding your utterances but he lets degrading and hurtful remarks escape him in public. A man complains about a governor not handling the affairs of the state properly but the man’s home is in disorder. A woman protests about her husband not treating her properly but she does not realize that the man’s ego has been hurt due to her lack of respect. In these instances, responsibility has been relinquished. Some can go as far as justifying their actions when they actually need to change. They want to be right, they do not want to understand.
According to Paul Jin:
The dedication requested to change our mind and behaviour is the fight of our lives. It’s within human nature to habituate, to create routines, so that our brain exerts less effort and spends less energy. The potential danger in this is that we can get too comfortable doing the wrong things, and as Seneca previously said, if we are unaware of it we may have no desire to be put right. What makes this pursuit particularly difficult is because it isn’t a popular topic of discussion in our culture. It’s not championed in the institutions that raise us. It is extremely difficult to humbly admit a shortcoming instead of fabricating a tale to mitigate the blow.1
We should learn to speak with ourselves. Subtle intentions and motives can be revealed in the process and then we can talk to ourselves. Self-awareness is developed through practice. This practice involves focusing your attention on the details of behaviour and personality.
Our personality, emotion, thoughts, experience, environment all contribute to shaping our character. Until you learn to look deep within yourself and examine your thoughts, you are not really self-aware. Face yourself; admit your mistakes - at least to yourself – in order to learn from them. It is knowledge that prompts us to change not just a mantra. It begins with awareness. Where do you go in life? It is where you focus your emotion, attention, and reaction.
Improvement is the path, self-awareness the starting point. The more you pay attention to yourself and your thought, the better you are able to understand why you do the things you do. It is when you know yourself that you can begin to improve yourself especially on those habits you would love to tackle.
Self-awareness does not fix all your problems, it is the starting point. I wonder if knowing yourself completely is possible. But the progress you make along the way is beneficial. No matter how difficult, try to look at yourself objectively or get some trustworthy friends to talk with you and pay attention to their criticisms. This way you do not have to go through say a separation or divorce to realize that you have poor communication.
Imagine what Nigeria would be if everyone is not busy blaming the other but trying to improve himself after a heightened level of self-awareness. Our families, our organizations, our nation would be better for it.
Reference:
- Paul Jin, Why Self-Awareness is the secret weapon for Habit Chang, http://99u.com/articles/30437/its-all-our-fault-self-awareness-as-a-secret-weapon-for-habit-change, Accessed on December 21, 2015.
