Excuse me, good sir. Could you cover that Mars Bar in batter and deep fry it?
Are you fucking insane? That is the maddest thing I have ever heard. But fuck it, alright then.
And thus, the Scottish (probably Glaswegian) legend of the deep-fried Mars Bar was born.
To paraphrase Wikipedia...
A deep-fried Mars bar is a Mars bar dipped in batter normally used for deep-frying fish and shit like that and then fried in a deep fat fryer also normally used for frying fish, sausages and other shit.
I mean it's bloody nuts. Is it true though you ask? I would like to say no. I have never met anyone from Glasgow who has tried one or knows someone who has tried one. There are also very few places that claim to make them as it can make their oil a bit funny.
So, no. It's a fucking myth.
But to celebrate that myth, what do we have on the menu tonight? We have a Deep-fried Mars Bar Stout!
It's crazy but it might just work.
To accompany that we have a Spiced Blueberry stout.
Sounds fabby to me.
As they say in the Northern Marches of England, my mouth is dribbling like an old Labrador's banjingo!
Let's go!
Spiced Blueberry... Sounds as if it would be quite nice in a tart?
It claims to be a Stout brewed with lots of oats for smoothness then blueberry juice for a fruity patooty and cardamom for the spice.
It could be said that this is a beer that doesn't know if it is Arthur or Martha!
I think we should find out if its gib is worth the cutting.
Blueberries don't sound like they belong in beer and cardamom even less so. And you know what? They don't, this is vile. Absolutely vile. 2/10 booms and that's generous because I'm going a little lockdown crazy.
Next!
And the alleged star of the show. The deep-fried fucking nonsense.
I wonder if it will smell slightly of fish. I mean, it's not ideal but if the odd manky bahjeen can get away with it?
Tally ho!
Looky look, no fishy smell but a delicious sweet caramel wafting from it. Promising! Inky black with just a little fizz like an otter's piss.
Hot damn, it really really smells amazing though!!
Let's get down and dirty.
Well, this is a delight! It is so sticky, so sweet and yet such a delicious beery tang cutting through it all, hops and barley then vanilla.
It's like eating a big caramel cake directly from the many breasts of Kali, God of Death.
Reminds me of the time I fought a herd of giant bats and after a terrible battle in which I slew half of them the leader made parley with me and I ended up marrying his daughter and becoming King of the BATS!
Good times. 9/10 booms!!
That was an awesome beering and no mistake! Cheers everyone, stay safe!