"We're all trying to find the guy who did this."
Washington, June 15 - The President of the United States donned a frankfurter costume today and declared his administration's determination to figure out who continually provides hundreds of millions of dollars to an organization that exists to keep millions of Palestinians stateless, radicalized, opposed to coexistence with Israel, and raised generation after generation to view violence as the only proper solution to their plight.
"We're all trying to find the guy who did this," vowed Joseph R. Biden to all those present in the Oval Office for an update meeting on his decision to fund the United Nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees, which provides employment, food, education, and social services for the descendants of Arabs who fled, mostly before Jewish fighter showed up, the British Mandate of Palestine when the establishment of a Jewish state there was imminent. Repeated studies have found that the organization uses educational public awareness materials that deny the Jewish connection to the Land of Israel, deny Jewish origins in the land, foment violence, and cultivate a zero-sum view of the conflict with Israel as resolvable only through total destruction of the Jewish State.
"As soon as we have any leads, we will be sure to let the American people know," assured Biden. "I personally guarantee that not one more cent of American taxpayer dollars will go toward incitement."
UNRWA uses a different definition of "refugee" from the other UN body - the High Commission for Refugees - that handles all other refugees from violent conflict around the world, and it gives those "Palestine Refugees" different treatment from standard refugee treatment: the UN strives to resettle refugees in other countries where they attain citizenship and start over, whereas Palestine Refugees are kept in perpetual statelessness, often facing Apartheid in their host countries, until "resolution" of their situation. Refugees are no longer refugees once the UN resettles them; Palestine Refugees cannot be removed from the rosters. Refugees cannot, except under rare circumstances, bequeath refugee status to their offspring; Palestine Refugees and all their descendants in perpetuity gain that status at birth - meaning that each year, the number of Palestine Refugees continues to balloon.
That ballooning requires ballooning budgetary support, which in large part comes from the US - and Biden swore at today's meeting to identify and track down whichever national government, and whichever branch of that government in charge of foreign policy, keeps making the decision to provide the money that sustains the problematic UNRWA.
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