Haha, your far from alone! I get it, and time and perspective change everything. From your last paragraph I think you are on the right track, but then again what do I know? Hang in there, you will eventually have something to be proud of, if that is even what you want. I was always told attitude is everything, and while platitudes are not always true, I would suggest quit thinking you suck, and work on something. But really your writing, as far as this post I thought was funny. Haha!