Fear is rational. It has a way of sharpening focus, honing skill; a way of providing clarity. I think it's good sometimes. Lessons are learned. I am not without my fears and there have been times that because of them, I was transformed into something I did not want to be. The return to what I should be is almost always driven and shaped, at least partially, by a fear of not living a fulfilling life. And I suppose that what anyone should be is always changing; there really isn't any end to that most fundamental of human philosophical battles. To be immersed in this kind of thinking and to know, all the time, that no one has forever is the reason to persevere in all of our endeavors. A reason to attain the impossible. Motivation to keep moving and to keep pushing and testing the boundaries for ourselves and others.
During three years of high school, I participated in an elective program called Project Adventure in which we learned about climbing equipment and safety. There were optional tree-top adventure courses, rock climbing walls, trust exercises and other activities. I wasn't sure about it at first because of a mild fear of heights but I soon came to love the thrill and engagement that came with challenging myself physically, as well as being trusted and relying on others for safety. At the age of 16, climbing was already shaping my life's path, though I wouldn't truly begin my love affair with hard movement on outdoor rock until I was 24.
An easy top-rope solo for some fun and exposure at Allamuchy Mountain State Park - Byram, NJ, USA "Cake Wall 5.6"
Top roping was how I cut my teeth at first, as everyone usually does. My first trip to a rock gym was with some friends in the middle of the winter of 2013. Equally lacking in technique and experience, we laughed our way through a couple hours of auto-belay silliness before getting sore and calling it quits. But I knew I would be back. A week later, I started frequenting that same gym, Randolph Climbing Center in Randolph, NJ. Eventually, I began to utilize some new movement techniques and understood from the employees and online teaching that footwork was supremely important! After several sessions of easy bouldering, it felt like I was making some progress and getting stronger (and lighter too).
I met some amazing people in those first few months of my gym training and it inspired me to continue to push through barriers that I thought were unattainable for me. I wanted to find some real rock. Communing with nature in ways like camping, fishing and hunting are some of my favorite things and rock climbing brings that same feeling of oneness that they do. There is something sublime about precisely and powerfully moving up a stone face among the peaceful sounds of the forest. The fear and worry of daily life seems to fade away. Gladly, some of those amazing people from the gym felt the same way and we would often take the short drive and hike into some local boulders at Allamuchy Mountain State Park in Byram, NJ. This granite outcropping of glacial erratics and cliff choss began to show a great deal of promise to me as the aspiring outdoor boulderer and I began to explore and climb there alone as well. On mountainproject.com, I started to document the boulders I was climbing and soon complied over 50 climbs from VB to V5 in the hills around the park. In the meanwhile, I had constructed a small boulder cave and hangboard set-up in the garage to improve my hand and forearm strength. My real rock climbing training had begun with a passion!
Within a year, I was working at Randolph Climbing Center and gaining experience and friends along the way! The very next year, I began to set boulder problems and top-rope routes up to 5.11 and my strength and technique grew quite rapidly in that time period! The gym also contracted me to construct volumes and box features for the walls which was a super fun and creative multi-month project that my friend Matt helped me with. It felt as though after I had jumped into climbing head-first, everything just fell into place. I was finally making money and friends in an industry that I was passionate about. That's a priceless realization.
A couple nearly finished volumes in my old garage
Some of my finished volumes at Randolph Climbing Center; small triangle boxes, big trapezoids, lots of fun!
Fast forward a couple more years and I sit here typing at 28 years old climbing V7 and having more fun in the gym than ever at Triangle Rock Club in North Raleigh, North Carolina. This gym has really improved my climbing ability in several ways, from strength to technique to head-game, those setters are world-class! Check out this V7 dyno on the grenade corner...
Commit young grasshoppah
So there's no fear there. Climbing has become an exercise for both my body and my mind. That dyno shows off not only my near peak physical ability in climbing thus far, but it also requires an intense amount of mental focus and confidence that I was previously incapable of due to fear. Training in climbing is equal parts mental and physical.
Gettin' while the gettin's good
A favorite outdoor destination: Grayson Highlands State Park, Mouth of Wilson, Virginia, USA
Currently, my girlfriend Courtney and I are preparing for a nationwide adventure to explore, hike, swim and climb! I am more confident than ever that those rational fears are under control with the strong help of climbing and will continue to provide me clarity. I am focused and ready. We will find some of the greatest hiking and climbing destinations on the planet and some of the best people along the way. Maybe we will even find new rock to explore and document. After all, the greatest adventures are those unplanned. "On belay? Belay on. Climbing!!"