Real Men Bake!

Ok... it's time for me to come clean.

After many years of hiding in the closet, living in denial and dodging reality.... I want to let everyone know.... I'm a baker!

I wouldn't call myself a 'master baker' although I have been involved in the odd steem circle jerk here and there.

But yeah... I bake... and proud. Most weeks I make Bagels or a few loaves of bread.

My forearms are jacked up like popeye from all the kneading.

I've even been known to make a cake now and then... and my banana bread once got me laid. Ain't nothing a woman likes more than a man who can... bake.

I see a lot of posts on steem about how pumped particular people are by their gym routines.

"Bro, lets get Alpha and do some kale shots with added protein powder."

"Bro, you create your own destiny by powering through life. Rip, eat, sleep, repeat bro!"

"Bro, I'm going to write a blog about my workout routine bro and make coin bro. Just follow me and copy what I do."

"Bro, I'm selling a lifestyle... join the gym, listen to trance music, trade bitcoin and max out like me bro."

😂😂😂

FFS Bro, I'm not buying the cliche you're selling. So what is my point? Well.... "Real men bake!"😂

Lets take a look at a selection of the worlds most 'carved with carbs', 'kick ass kneading nutcases'. You wanna see a selection of Alpha males the likes of which your tiny minds can not comprehend? Check out this bunch from the great British bake off. Otherwise known as TGBBO... bro.

There you have it. If you watch the latest episode of TGBBO, you will learn that the best bakers are like marines... they never get emotional! I tried to make a compilation video with footage featured in the gif above but YouTube threw a hissy fit saying it couldn't be shown in some countries due to its content.

Yes, you heard it here first... YouTube is blocking extreme baking footage now! What will be next? Crafts!

You're better off using Hive account@threespeak where they will never block crafts 😉

If there is a moral to this story it is that the pressure of making the perfect round choux pastry can cause even the strongest Alpha male to unravel. It ain't easy whisking bro! I've been baking for years now and my abs are ripped to fck. I've got a genuine 2 pack from doing sit-ups while munching on bagels and swilling it down with a lovely pint of lager. What I do isn't easy... if it was everyone would be doing it!

... and as everyone knows... ain't nothing more gangster than 2 pac!

All gifs used in this post were either created by me or ethically sourced from giphy.com. The picture is of me taken from my bagel making post which you can find at the bottom of the list of links.

If you have enjoyed this satirical post, please check out some of my other comedic posts below. Thank you.

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