I spent 30 minutes picking out a card that wasn’t too sentimental, too religious, too funny and didn’t have glitter and annoying singing animatronics. I’m tired now, the clerk things I’m creepy and you’re

Uncle Jerry is drunk and hitting and on the neighbor’s wife again. Timmy is pissed he got the wrong toy in his stocking and is setting things on fire in the backyard. Aunt Janine is medicating with pills