Why are married women heavier than single women? Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed, whereas married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge! I asked

Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don’t expect any hassle