Hello. Yes, you. Hi, I'm real.

I mean, I'm Not 1mportant, don't get it twisted, but totally real like debt. D and A, I'm them as well and, Not The Bad, yet another me. I got more aliases than secrets in Vatican City but bet your ass I'm real. Layer 1—content and consumers collide. Layer 2, 3, 4, sometimes 5, and 6-13, however, are all totally real like home furnishings and that's where I am. On your loveseat. We're watching Kill Tony. Together. I don't appreciate taking off my shoe prior to joining you, by the way, I got one leg for fucks sake, why else would I spell shoe with no ***S*** and, she's hot, please turn up the A/C.

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To prove how real all *this* is so you'll stop questioning blind support, bots, power downs and stakeholders, I went down to the bank yesterday to qualify for a loan so I can purchase a small island off the coast of Argentina—10 million bucks. I just traded all my #POB tokens for a freight-liner equipped with a submersible helicopter and a salamander nursery a couple weeks ago so I'm a little short on cash. > Welcome back, Dan! *Whaddup, Merril, how's the fam?* _{*(Me and Merril Lynch are cool like that)*} > Sweet as a lime, Dan, what brings you here today? *There's an island in the South Atlantic I wanna move to @meesterboom's place in Motherwell.* > I heard about that purchase—traded all his CCC stake for it. What, then, transport the island to Scotland? *Yeah, Uber. Their recent update includes island hopping.* > How much you thinking? *Meh, a couple mil, maybe like four. Four or five million, that way I can pay the Uber driver, too.* > Understood, $5 million, and which of your virtual stakes will you be using as collateral? *#Hive. I got 57 something in HP and about four grand in HBD.* > Deal! Your virtual stake's good here, Dan, hang tight right quick and I'll go fetch your Benjamin's. Merril returned a couple minutes later with a buncha $100 bills. I shoved it in my backpack, didn't count it—waste of time like negotiating bathroom counter space with my wife. After counting all my virtual stake by hand, I can eyeball $5 mil down to the penny anyway. Stepped out, hopped in a horse and buggy cuz Uber has Amish drivers now, too, and dropped a $100 bill in the panhandlers tip-jar, he's blowing a flute. I think it's a flute—weird looking Viking horn thing in his mouth that sounds like a flute and dude went: > Hey, I know you, you're not Dan! *I was like, @albuslucimus, whaddup man? I shoulda known that horny thing was yours.* He passed me a $100 bill. *Keep it, that's yours!* > If fell out of your backpack and you're about to lose more. I took off my backpack and adjusted my stack, they don't make'em like they used to. Back in the day, $5 mil was nothing for a backpack. *Yeah, I was a little short on cash and found an island in the South Atlantic Uber's gonna move to Boomy's place for me, so I stopped by Merril's and got loaded on green.* > No way! Plan on doing any phishing?? I got a shit ton of PORN tokens. *Genius! Porn's only the best bait ever. C'mon, get in. We'll stop by Bass Pro Shops and grab a boat, they accept #LEO tokens now.* Asheville - Argentina - Uber to Scotland - panhandler - tip the panhandler - boat, bait, and a small lake and, not once, did a single one of us reach in our only wallet that actually matters in the real world. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓔𝓷𝓭

What'd you think this was, another virtual stranger throwing weight around to persuade your Monopoly money endeavors?

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