People can be downright horrible, I never have any illusions about that. I myself understand the psychology of someone who is heartless or ruthless. I’ve had those feelings before. I know that they can always lurk right behind certain situations and thought patterns.
That’s why I never take kindness or care for granted, even when it’s small.
Sometimes I fail to express my gratitude, sometimes I am too tired or distracted to reciprocate. If I can’t pay it back, at least I can pay it forward. The way I do that is by fighting the urge to give in to hopelessness, by trusting people as much as I can, even while being so aware of how awful people can be. And then I try to share the most inspiring or helpful information, feelings, and behavior that I can muster. Do they work? I don’t know. That’s not for me to decide.
A few days ago was my birth day. I was moved by the birthday wishes. Back in the day, I got a lot of “Happy Birthdays”. They felt so automated. This year was a little different. One friend didn’t even say happy birthday. She just sent a picture of herself, her boyfriend and another couple that I’m friends with together and reminded me that I introduced both of these couples. “We all met thanks to you!” That kind of thing is far more meaningful to me than a happy birthday.
Another friend said “been thinking about you ❤️“. She didn’t say happy birthday or anything else but I remembered that time that I told her that I loved the song “Time Adventure” from the cartoon Adventure Time, and she learned the song just for me and recorded it a few weeks later to send me. I was the only one in the world who knew how beautiful her voice sounded on that song.
On Hive I showed my little birthday outing to an African restaurant. If you know me, you know I’m not just curious about culture, I want to start more discussions that allow us to understand each other better. That is the whole motivation for the Cross Culture community. So I was really happy to see a reply from 
My latest post I spoke about my depression and why it’s so hard to talk about. It got me thinking much more deeply about this topic and how I want to start speaking about this issue from a place of experience, because I have experienced such depths of sorrow that I rarely talk about, and sometimes I still battle with myself.
I appreciate them so deeply for taking the time to read and reply, as well as all the old friends who responded to my rare Facebook update with the same content.
I started this post out by saying I know how awful humans can be. I look at my own ugliness without reservations. I know what kind of things I’m capable of and so I see myself in all the terrible people in the world. Even when it’s hard to imagine, some of the more twisted and perverted behavior, I try to understand. I don’t shy away. I know we are all capable of these things, it is just that we haven’t been twisted and distorted in the same way.
That’s why I appreciate so deeply when people are kind and warm, or when they appreciate me for trying. If we can be so terrible that means that goodness is a choice, and so all the goodness you see is someone who actively chooses to express their humanity in such a way.
Sometimes it’s just little things, and sometimes it’s out of habit. But when you see the us for what we are, infinite possibilities, it’s so beautiful that people chose to be kind and good, even when they have their own interests in mind, even when they are not perfect, even when they are different from us, even when they fail to understand.
Somehow I’m blessed enough to have even better than that in my life, people who do more than what’s in their self interest, people who are creative in the ways that they express love and gratitude, people who want to teach and learn and give as much as they take or more.
Thank you so much for whatever decency you bring into the world. Thank you for trying to be good, even if you fail. Thank you for choosing that. You are all bringing joy into others lives, even when you don’t realize it. As ugly as things can be, they can be just as beautiful, and just as there is horror beyond what we can imagine, there is just as much unimaginable beauty and that is what you contribute to.
Thank you for knowing me. Thanks you for caring. Thank you for being you.
Thank you.
🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
If you like this post, you’ll surely like what I share at youtube:
Confessions of the Damaged - Out Now!
🎬Self Help For Trolls
🎸I + Everything
📕 Confessions of the Damaged OUT NOW :-)
Come join us in Hive Cross Culture where we talk and share ideas about Culture, language and travel and share any bilingual content. Join our discord
We also have a 
🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱
I'm also getting much more involved with Natural Medicine, Hoping to help them connect and reward autonomous and conscious communities around the world.
Consider buying the LOTUS token at leofinance.io 's LeoDex or posting at naturalmedicine.io where you can browse posts about healthy lifestyles, spirituality, farming, yoga, psychedelics, healing techniques and more. All your posts will automatically appear at the Natural Medicine community at Hive and you can earn LOTUS and HIVE.
Help us spread the word by liking and sharing posts by Natural Medicine on Twitter and Instagram
