Yeah, we are essentially saying the same thing.
I still dare to say "no direct impact" because when, as you said, they are responsible for their own state of mind then whatever we do with OUR life not gonna make it easier or harder for them. It's just gonna be an arrangement by universe (if you believe in it) for both side to get what they need to get out of situation and encounter.
Since self love results in love of others in it's very core, the moment we think it's about them, before we think it's about us (not talking about being selfish in classic meaning of it) we gonna get out of that flow of love for both side. If, honestly in our very core, we feel doing something, it's what good for all regardless of whatever feelings anyone else has about it. They are supposed to feel that way because they need it right here and right now to grow, imo.
It's very good man! I love these conversations.