Thank you. I also have depression. You are just a younger version of me. How I coped was I stayed busy in school. I made A's. I graduated early from High School and went to College. we had to be out of the house by our 18th birthday. I got my first degree at age 19. I have three now. I have never had alcohol in my life. I was terrified I would turn out like my Dad and Brothers. I am a research scientist and busy myself in my research and inventions. This has helped me by distracting me from my depression and horrifying child memories. Like you I do miss my Dad. He did have positive qualities. He was super funny and was a Genius (IQ rating). Stay in touch. I will help in any way that I can