No, this isn't a Christmas present, but it was given near Christmas. In one of my game groups, we have a member who has a rather morbid sense of humor, so I decided to make her a birthday parody present in the style of Harbor Freight tool kits and branding, but with an ultra-sketchy medical implication.
The first step was creating some art assets I could use for my fake packaging. Behold the absurdity. Why is it metric? Is it good or bad I left out the mallet? Why is there not even the slightest pretense of cleanliness?
Then I had to find my components for the kit. I bought a cheap mirror at the local Dollar Tree. Of course, thanks to inflation, everything is at least $1.25 there now. And at the actual Harbor Freight, I bought a scratch awl as a stand-in for an ice pick or medical orbitoclast. Finally, I had a roll of gauze left over from assembling some first aid kits. I had intended to just use an eye patch as seen in the initial mockup, but I changed the text for the final version. I also rearranged the endorsement info.
After laying out my art assets on a standard sheet of paper and printing off the final version, I glued it to a sheet of cardboard. I also got a package of zip ties, because while I don't have a way to properly vacuum-form a clamshell, I can do the next most obnoxious thing and use zip ties everywhere. I laid out the items, and marked where I needed holes. Then, I grabbed a scrap of lumber for backing and used a drill to make said holes.
It wasn't pretty, but it worked. After trimming the margins ever-so-delicately with a set of scissors, it was ready to stuff in a gift bag and deliver. The recipient giggled for at least a full minute, so I think it was a success.
In conclusion, it's perfectly OK to distrust The Science,™ because the utter insanity of allowing doctors to literally hammer a spike through a patient's eye socket to scramble their brains as established medical science and psychiatric care is only the tip of the icepick iceberg. And it doesn't hurt to D.I.Y a gag gift when inspiration strikes.
Just remember, don't actually try this at home, kids. Leave lobotomies to professionals history.
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