My Happy Place and How I Get Out of An Emotional Hole

I am going to my happy place today! In this post I am responding both to two prompts:

@ecoTrain's question of the week

ecoTrain Question Of The Week: How Do You Get Out And Stay Out Of An Emotional Hole?

and

@FreedomTribe's challenge:

The Happiness Steem Challenge – Creating HAPPINESS for Hungry Indigenous Venezuelan Children – LOADS of STEEM prizes to be Won! Hive account@freedomtribe is generously sharing 50% of the prize pool with @LittleDisciples to help indigenous children in Venezuela.

I get into emotional holes all the time.

Quite frequently. I am glad to say that the intensity and duration of my emotional holes has gone down a lot over the years and they are much more manageable. I say thankfully because I had built a habit to be in a sad or angry place when I deal with challenges in my life from a fairly young age.

Truthfully it took me a long time to get to a better place emotionally. I always had faith in myself that I could achieve happiness, no matter how far away it was, and I think that was the biggest key or lucky point. But often it seemed near impossible in the worst times.

People that were extremely happy often disgusted me when I was in a bad mood. Contrasting myself to them made it even more obvious how down I was. If someone told me smile even if I was not happy, I did not want to because I knew it was fake. But anyways I faked being happy or being alright all day long on the days that I was not happy.

In retrospect I see value in that advice. But what really works for me is consistent belief in myself and consistent work at being happy. Being happy shouldn't be work, but for someone that is in the habit of being not happy, for whatever reason, it feels like work.

I had trouble expressing unhappiness because I never learned to express it to those that were closest to me when I was in my formidable years. I hid my sadness and anger within. And so the source of my sadness and anger became hidden even from myself. I knew I was sad but did not know how to talk about it with myself. Like where it really came from.

Breathing is how I get out of an emotional hole

Typically when I am the most sad or the most anger or the most anxious I end up feeling suffocated. I feel panicked. Forlorn. Desperate. Ready for it to end.

If I am so sad that I am ready for it to all just end end, I know now that is a sign that I am ready to switch off the sad part of me and switch on the happy me, but I might not know how to make the switch from sadness to happiness.

Part of my unhappiness was rooted in not feeling accepted and part of the reason I didn't feel accepted was because I didn't know how to express myself emotionally. So I held myself back from being happy.

Eventually I learned that I could share my feelings, no matter how much I stuttered and no matter how stupid or naked I felt, no matter how much I cried, I could let out some of the darkness into the light.

The effort was really slow and painful but even when I did not want to admit it out loud, it felt good to let those feelings out. Slowly and with practice and suffering through my awkwardness I was able to get better and better to the point where it is not as big a deal to let my emotions out.

The tricky part is that I also had to learn how not to turn this into a complaining fest and learn from myself how to improve, how to love myself more, how to communicate with emotional intelligence.

It sure helps to have a trusted family, friend or loved one to share with that is not judgmental.

Breathing is my happy place

When I am happy I notice that I am breathing really well. I breath deeply and fully and am feeling confident and full of love. When I am happy breathing comes naturally.

I have a few happy places, and coincidentally they go hand in hand with helping me breath well.

In the Garden

I love being in the garden and even when I am really sad going here helps me feel at least a little better, if not a lot. It helps that being in the garden gets me moving from place to place, plant to plant, bending over and moving my body which helps me breathe easier. It is easier to forget about my worries while I am in the garden.

Running or Walking

These are some of my favorite ways to move my body. I always appreciate walking or running when I am down or angry because the scenery moves past me and it helps put problems behind me, even if it is just temporary.

Tai Chi

I have picked up Tai Chi and Chi Gong the last few years and have found that it really helps me find peace and focus on my breath. It helps me be more present and forget about the past and future, at least for a little while. I love it the way many people love yoga.

Being in Nature

Nature is the best. She is always forgiving, always forgiving, always a friend. If I can be in the forest or around water or both that is ideal. There are chemicals released by trees that help induce happiness and I heard recently that spending regular time in the forest not only lifts your mood but also boosts your immunity and those effects are residual. And I also absolutely love moving water because the sound is relaxing and peaceful and the moving water helps pull my worries away and down stream or down river. The water helps pull the tension out of my muscles. I take deep breaths with the water and feel that flowing water flow through my lungs and pull out the anxiety. At least for the very moment I can let go of my problems.

With practice, finding peace comes easier and more often. I am proof of that. Now that I know it is possible I also know that I will keep getting better, and that thought makes me smile.