The Coronado Library glows in a green light only my camera can see. It does not look like this in person.
Sacred Heart Church is haunted; everyone agrees.
Graham Presbyterian won't come into focus no matter how still I am on the ground.
I'm not slowing down for golfers. The place is deserted now.
The fish wall smiles as I pass it.
Crown Shops are all closed.
The headless statue of Alexander's Pizza offers cheese I'm not eating.
La Avenida Hotel's pool is silent.
The Villa Capri girl still dives.
I keep walking no matter what.
These people might come outside.
My California was a scary place when I first lost half my size. I didn't recognize my skinny self and was afraid of everyone. All of the sudden, I was small, and everyone else was big.
I went from:
"Go see that Fat Lady in Accounting. She will help you with your spreadsheet."
To:
"Hey, you Skinny B%tch! Get away from my husband!"
I would only walk outside with my fitness trainer or my son. My trainer told to get out of the house with a camera and take photos while walking. He thought it would be a good idea to help me get more comfortable in public.
I had a different idea. No one could see me in the dark, just like no one could see me when I was fat.
I was lucky to have been warned this would happen by another lady who lost her weight and gained it back. Like me, she had been fat since childhood and told me, "If you make it, you will live in fear. It's easier just to crawl back into your fat."
I hung onto that fear for two years and then one day it was gone. I scrolled down an old social media profile and stopped to wonder, "Who put that fat lady on my feed?" Finally, I wasn't her anymore.
Are you worried about gaining weight over the holidays?
Or are you just going to worry about it later?
December 2011 is the month when my weight loss efforts really took off. Please follow my blog for weight loss information, or contact me directly if you would like some individual help.
This post in my entry in the weekly My California Contest held by 
