THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME
From a very early age, I knew about Drugs my first ever experience was when I was at work with my Dad. One of my family members (i won't say who) had been smoking solid (soap bar) in the wagon they shared to pick up tyres from Halfords all around the country. I was playing in the wagon pretending like I was driving it changing the tachograph etc and I found a little piece of Solid and started getting curious as to what it was I gave it to my Dad who went mad and stormed off to confront him who must not be named. So that was my first experience with Drugs the second time I caught another family member smoking so I blackmailed them to give me some I was only about 7-8 I was also pinching my grandad's cigarettes at this stage smoking at least 2 per day.
Then we moved area and I met some older people I was around 11 at this point but my friend's family sold soap bar plus a few other lite recreational drugs. I would spend my pocket money on soap bar then run home giggling to myself and raid the biscuit cupboard and the Kellogs cornflakes and whatever else I could get my hands on without my parents going mad.
I was a proper cute little shit as a kid I remember this lady coming to my Dad's garage once and she squeezed me into her massive tits and proclaimed to tell my dad she was keeping me lol. My point in saying this is the world was my oyster I could have had my pick of the Ladie's had I chosen a different path (but then I would not have my 3 beautiful children) also I could have done any career I put my mind to instead I was a joker that had a different bird all the time.
I remember when my dear old mum was alive she had a bad argument with my Dad and all hell broke loose my sister tried to stab him and when I intervened I got smacked around the jaw with a wooden brush. Later on that day my mum was seriously drunk and not knowing what she was doing she tried to dive under a bus with my baby sister but was stopped by the police. From this point on I watched my mum slowly deteriorate until she sadly passed away from the drink.
All throughout these years as an adolescent I was experiencing a life filled with Drugs and crime. I remember one day I was sitting on the toilet at home when I saw something stuffed behind the radiator so I proceeded to fish it out when I opened it I found about 2 ounces of pure amphetamine. As you can imagine I went on one and me and all my friends got off our tits for about 6 days before I went home (still off my tits) to face the consequences. I had taken that much speed and not slept I was hallucinating really bad. I kept items in my room and I knew where everything was but things had been moved by my mum tidying up. My parent's bedroom was downstairs so I flew down and went into their room I could hear a police radio sierra oscar from 156 over all that shit so I asked my parents where the police were hiding and pulled their dad away from the wall with them in it believing a copper was hiding behind it lol I had lost the plot. My Dad then went mad with me about the speed but the remainder left I had to sell to get the money back. My mum gave me a valium and told me to calm the fuck down and get some sleep.
One time I went in to get my pocket money and Dad opened his wallet and out fell about 10 I love you telly tubby pills so I picked up 4 and said I will have these instead bye dad he didn't have time to stop me I was gone like dust.
This was all a massive learning curve for me and my parents knew I was going to do it regardless so they came to the best decision possible which was for me to get my stuff through them that way they knew it was all pure and no shit I was taking. They wasn't going to be able to stop me and they knew that looking back now it was a pretty shitty thing to do on my part they was scared shitless of waking up to find me dead even more so when I started with the Heroin.
So all this went on for years until I was asked to do a piss sample for someone I knew as they could not give a clean sample. I needed to have Methadone in my system or the test would of not been correct so I had to take Methadone the lad gave me 40ml which was a lot saying I had never had it before I was very very poorly from it for days being violently sick e.t.c. This was my first experience with opiots and I didn't like it but something got me because after that is when everything really started going tits up. Its now 25 years later and all I have known is crime and drugs that was until I met the love of my life.
There was a time I was lying in Armley prison I had abscesses in my stomach (on the outside) I had lost some serious weight and I looked at myself and thought I was going to die I believed no woman would ever want me again. Then an angel walked into my life and everything changed. She is the most beautiful young lady I have ever laid eyes upon and I knew right then that she would give me the strength I needed to finally beat this curse that had been bestowed upon my shoulders. I fell in love instantly and this young lady did give me everything I could ever dream of she gave me 2 beautiful little babies and she loved me unconditionally as I did her. Shge never looked at me like a druggie and she had faith in me to do right by my family. Unfortunately being an addict you sometimes make mistakes but you have to be able to rectify these mistakes if not you will end up back on that slippery sloop. Me and my ex had a pretty bad falling out and I was a fucking cunt to put it bluntly she didn't know I had lost my way again. I knew I was losing courtney and my babies that's why I lost track a little bit when me and my ex wasn't together she was talking to other lads I would not even look at another lass she is and always will be the only woman I love. Realizing I was losing my family I should of done the opposite but all I have ever known to deal with my problems is to turn to drugs so what did any expect me to do.
At this stage in my life I have lost the best thing to ever happen to me aswell as my beautiful babies the other 2 best things in my life so I am struggling real bad. The only way for me to resolve this is by getting my life sorted which I am doing but on the other hand imagine how hard it is for me being an addict and turning to drugs was always option one I am learning to deal with my problems other ways by being positive and reading the law of attraction etc the only way is up for me now or I will end up killing myself and that would be selfish as fuck on my beautiful babies.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this and if there's anyone out there that needs someone to talk to please fell free to get in touch or comment below thank you all take care everyone.
