FFF ~ The Destroyer ~ 1,000,000 Pound Burrito ~ FFF

Here we go again my Friends of the Food Fight Friday Aren!! Wait, since this is an all out war that could possibly end in a food coma lasting for days... does that make us Friends?... or Foes?... Well if you take a hit from my up and coming contender, you are most likely going to be begging for mercy and considering a Foe from this point on. Hey I’m just going to be honest, I even disliked my self after going round for round with this contender. It was a punishment I wouldn’t wish on my worst ~~enemy~~ fri-enemy... I’m truly sorry for what I am about to put you Food Fight Friday Food Lovin’ Foodies through... God Speed Good Food Flingers!!

The Destroyer

The 1,000,000 Pound Burrito

Ok, now don’t you go straight to the poopy thinkin’... :cough @puravidaville... “Oh ya, you destroyed the bathroom after that monster!!!” Um... no!! When you have a well maintained stomach like mine... that is never an issue. When you maintain a perfect balance of heathy and slightly, a tiny bit, small amount, just the right amount of not so healthy stuff... you don’t have to worry about blowing the back of the toi... nevermind... ~~bowel~~ moving on... Sorry I really didn’t mean to go there, sometimes it just happens... like a wet fa...r... You on with this post? I really didn’t mean to gross anyone out, it’s natural, chill my homies.

Now when you making a 1,000,000 pound burrito you need a tortilla what is bigger than a school bus... or approximately 12 inches in diameter. From pinky to thumb my hand is 9 inches and this tortilla overlaps the plate. Hey, hold up!! My plates aren’t small, my tortillas are just big.

So the word on the street is just across the border (In Oregon) there are some tortillas that make these look like taco shells. Trust me, if this is true... I will find them and I will eat... one... and tell all you food flingin’ peeps all about it!!

Then all you do is this...

Start with a healthy layer of beans, then rice, then seasoned ground beef, cheese, lettuce, onion, avocado, tomato, habanero hot sauce and some sour cream to add that little bit of coolness. I do have to say, the toughest part about making a burrito this size is rolling is up in a way it doesn’t fall apart. Little do you foodies know, I pay close attention to how the professional burrito makers do it. I am a very experience burrito eatin’ foo!! He I did my time in central Cali.. what’s up. Hahaha I know what your thinkin’ ... “White boy, you don’t know jack about rolling a monster burrito!” Well guess what... I can roll up a 1,000,000 pound burrito... what you got on that???!!

I am like Eminem... I know how to... ~~rap~~ wrap...

I do have to admit, I was slightly intimidated by the size and weight of the Destroyer... A Food Coma was eminent if I was to devour this is one sitting.

After the first few bites, I realize that this Destroyer is going to get destroyed!! The heat from the habanero was intense but the sour cream brought just the right coolness. Then add the crunch of the lettuce, the gooey cheese and the chunks of avocado and I just can’t stop chowing down on this Man-Sized burrito.

This is when it has become one of those... All or Nothin’ type of moments. The challenge has been accepted and I WILL WIN!! This burrito has all the flavors, the heat, the cool, the crunch, the gooey, the sweet, the.... shoot I don’t know!!! It tastes so dang good I just couldn’t quit eating!!

My family often looks at me like I am some sort of crazy person, well even though that is true to a point but I’m not 100% crazy just 83%. I keep track so that I don’t go over 90%. I might be small in stature but I eat big!! Just ask the Power-Lifter I work with... I’m not going to do that, I don’t want to embarrass him again. Hahaha.

I have my moments when I can just devour the food like a bottomless pit. Then there are the times when I... eat like a somewhat “normal” person...

I will be the first to admit...

This burrito put me over the edge!!

Good Grief!! Why do I do this to myself!! I couldn’t imagine what those competitive eating guys go through!! I mean, they don’t have a dog to lay next to...