Thats the way I used to write (the year is blah blah etc) and wondered why when I read it back to myself it sounded really wooden then one day I was reading a novel and thought that it was amazing that the author could sook me right in and realised its because he wasnt telling me much and I had to use my imagination to fill in the gaps or attempt to :O)
I am sure you will make a cracking image!
RE: The Emerald Tower - Original Conspiracy Fiction (Mature Content) - Part One