Have you heard the news. All that great deliciousness of Del Taco can now be delivered to your doorstep. Those mouthwatering Epic Burritos, and those melt in your mouth Street Tacos are a fast food junkies dream. No more having to sit and wait in a Drive Thru hoping the non English speaking employee gets my order correct. No more having to quickly run through their menu which is never organized. It seemed PERFECT.
So this is how I found out...
Monday morning was heading off to a nice start. Feeling great, being productive, and getting things going. AND then I check my email to a wonderful surprise. As I am a member of Del Taco's RAVING FAN e-club I am privy to the inside scoop of what is going down in taco town.
When You Get One Of These You Know You Are Big Time! I'm The WHALE Of Del Taco...
So I waited a couple of hours till lunch time and decided to give it a shot. Why not. Have some of that nice, fresh deliciousness delivered to my door. The store is only 1.8 miles away so I know it will be piping hot. I don't have to endure the blistering 117 degree Vegas heat.
I peruse the easy to read and navigate online menu. So far so good. Pictures and descriptions of all the items are on point. Decisions Decisions...What Del Taco masterpiece would I be shoving into my mouth in the next 40 minutes,
Well I make my selection. I'm going with a couple of chicken and carne asada street tacos and their 2 for $5.00 Del Beef Burrito. YUMMMMMYYY.
So I put in my order and my address. Everything is going perfect. The shopping cart, and ordering system could not have been easier to go through. But then I notice something STRANGE. My bill looked ENORMOUSLY incorrect.
WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THIS SHIT???
Those BASTARDS want to charge me a $9.30 delivery fee. That does not even include tip in which this case all the driver would have gotten from me is some tips on "looking both ways before crossing the road".
I was shocked. That is a heavy price to pay to get some fast food. It almost DOUBLES my order. Screw that I am not gonna order that anymore. And my normally raving opinions of Del Taco are starting to diminish.
So I started doing some investigating on Del Taco delivery and I noticed something interesting. I saw that Door Dash was already doing some deliveries in limited areas. And on their website they claimed to be the OFFICIAL delivery service for Del Taco. OHHHH ok so this is Door Dash's doing. I might let Del Taco off the hook a little bit if it's the Door Dash Douches gauging the price of my beloved tacos.
At this point I decided to do an experiment. I would go through an order process via Door Dash to see if they charge the same delivery fee. I go to start the process and then I am SURPRISED yet again...
What The F*CK Is Going Here...
Well Lookie here...Door Dash does not even deliver to me. So it is THOSE Del Taco THIEVES after all. It just baffled me at how they could have such a high price for delivery when they have pretty decent prices for food and even items that are under a dollar.
Hmmm...so I decided to experiment once again with Del Taco delivery. This time I would just order a single $.59 cent cheese quesadilla. Perhaps the delivery price is weighted or maybe the $9.30 is the starting point. I wanted to see for myself.
And Here Is What I Got Back...With No Surprise From Me...
$.59 cents for the quesadilla and $9.30 for delivery. All in all if you drank some tap water you still would of had lunch for under $10 bucks.
So it made me think. If they are gauging the little orders...How much would they try to swindle out of BIG orders. Would someone who put in a $100 order for their office have to pay $80 delivery? I had to find out for myself. So let me try another experiment.
This time I would put in a bigger order. I put in one for about a $100 bucks...another for $200...another for $300 and the results were SHOCKING the SHIT out of me. So Fuck It...let me do a GRANDE order and see what happens...
And What You See Here You Can Not Make Up...
I was feeling a little bit hungry at this point so I ordered about 500 Platos meals and close to 300 Epic Burritos with the full fixings! It came out to a cool $5,494.92 and only $9.30 delivery fee. Hell at that price I might even give the driver $3 instead of my normal $2 for tip.
Perhaps this will be a lesson for Del Taco. They can work out these kinks. Because as of right now this is only a good deal for Dolphins and Whales....while yes my fellow minnows...it is us who take in the ass as usual. Who wants to split $.59 cent cheese quesadilla with me?