If Music Be The Food of Love, Let's Eat!

Don't ask me why this particular comedy sketch came to mind, but it combines a basic bread roll and George Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" uniquely. Food, just like sex, is something that us humans are programmed to need. And in music, the metaphors abound. In lyrics, sex is often portrayed as sweet and sugar is used to describe the act. Foods are often seen as aphrodisiacs, able to get the juices flowing (so to speak). Anything from oysters to pistachio nuts, saffron to ginseng.

But let's start with your common garden vegetable. None other than the Bee Gees dedicated the title of their seventh album to the humble cucumber. "Cucumber Castle" was the soundtrack to a comedy movie of the same name, released in 1970. I haven't seen it, but it does score 6.3 on IMDb, which is quite respectable. Another vegetable that pops up is 'Green Onions', the seminal R&B instrumental by Booker T and the MGs, who were also the backing band to The Blues Brothers (John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd). Originally the song was going to be called "Funky Onions", but the sister of one of the band members thought it sounded too much like "a cuss word". Oh, for that level of innocence! That age probably never existed. 1After all, 962 was the year of the Cuban Missile Crisis, the North Sea Flood and the suicide bombing of Continental Airlines Flight 11.

One of my favourite food songs is Slim Gaillard's ode to Britain's beloved snack: "Potato Chips" (crisps).

Potato chips, how my mouth just drips
Crunch, crunch, I don't want no lunch
All I want is potato chips

Let's also make sure we mention all our "5 a day". The first song that comes to mind was "The Banana Boat Song", the traditional Jamaican folk song made famous by Harry Belafonte and the film "[Beetlejuice]"()". Berries are very popular if only very seasonal. "Strawberry Fields Forever", "Blackberry Way" and "Raspberry Beret", to name but a few. But the cherry on top has to be Chuck although Chuck Berry's thing was cars and motion, or places and geography, rather than food. Oranges feature as the title of albums by Al Stuart and The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. There was also the Scottish band Orange Juice featuring the lead singer and face of the band, Edwyn Collins. Johnny Cash performed a song and named an album after the famous luxury train "Orange Blossom Special", a song originally written in 1939 and commonly referred to as the fiddle player's national anthem". REM particularly loved oranges, as they had an "Orange Crush" (please excuse the excruciatingly bad joke).

Let's not forget the hard stuff. Music and booze have always been close buddies. John Lee Hooker wasn't satisfied with one drink, he'd mix his. "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" tells the story of a man drowning his sorrows after his woman has left him. It's a familiar one. And if you fancy a trip to Trinidad and can't afford it, you can turn up the heating at home, put your shorts on, and make yourself a "Rum and Coca-Cola". And don't forget the umbrella.

Let's hope you're not lactose intolerant because Kelis says she makes better milkshakes than McDonalds:
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like it's better than yours

Then there's "Milk" by Garbage and the Oedipal album title "Mother's Milk" by Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Perhaps the winner in the food category is sugar. From "Brown Sugar" to "Watermelon Sugar", "Lips Like Sugar", "A Spoonful of Sugar", "Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice" and "Pour Some Sugar On Me" to name a few.

But the final word has to be left to Isaac Hayes, whose song lyrics are a recipe for that delectable delicacy, "Chocolate Salty Balls":

**Quarter-cup of unsweetened chocolate
And a half a cup of brandy
And throw in a bag or two of sugar
And just a pinch of vanilla
Grease up the cookie sheet,
Cause I hate when my balls stick,
Then preheat the oven to three-fifty,
And give that spoon a lick!!!!

Say everybody have you seen my balls
They're big and salty and brown!!
If you ever need em' quick, pick me up
Just stick my balls in your mouth!!!

Suck on my chocolate salty balls
Put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em
Suck on my chocolate salty balls
They're packed full of goodness,
High in fiber!!
Suck on my balls*