A brief piece angrily freewritten to the beat of asshats shattering the backcountry's perfect peace & quiet

Hi my name is Hive account@brandt and I have hereby decided that today is a good day to do some freewriting. I am not very good at freewriting so bear with me here while I figure out what I should say and which words I should choose to say them with. Okay look, this isn't good. I'm only two sentences in yet already I struggle to think of things to say, and I'm tempted to go back and do some self-editing. This is not going to work at all. How am I ever going to become a successful freewriter if I can barely even come up with a single paragraph here? Here I am surrounded by beautiful nature in every direction, mountains all around and an entire valley essentially all to myself. You would think this would be the perfect setting for any apsiring freewriter to thrive, but apparently not so in my case. That's not how you spell aspiring. My god this is discouraging. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a freewriter. Maybe I need to change my setting? Could be that I'm just not the type to produce award-winning freewriting out in the wilderness—maybe I need a coffee shop or a library or something. Maybe—

BANG BANG BANG

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Oh goddammit you have got to be kidding me. I didn't spend three fucking hours driving up that goddamn rocky as hell road through a midsummer's day monsoon to find the mother of all perfect campsites with the mother of all perfect views where I could pitch my tent and sit in my chair and relax and spend a couple days writing, just to listen to a bunch of crazy insane gunhappy mountain maniacs setting off firecrackers and shooting their way through hundreds of dollars' worth of ammo. Please for the love of God and all things holy, don't let these be the type of assholes who load up their ATV with enough guns and fireworks and booze to spend an entire day drinking and shooting and—

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

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Fucking Christ was that a semiautomatic? What in hell do you need semiautomatic weapons out here for? Are you planning on gunning down an entire herd of elk or something? And if so then what in hell are you going to do with all those dead elk? I mean hunting is one thing but mass killing is another, and don't get me started on that subject because actually wait, that gives me an idea about what I'm gonna do to these asshats if they don't stop shooting sooner than lat—

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang BANG BANG BANG BANG

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Oh yep, great, called it, they brought fireworks too. Just great. Yall better knock that off soon because if you don't I swear to God I will put down this pen and get up out of this chair and get in my car and drive all the way down this goddamn valley to find you and when I do I swear to God I'll—

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

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Gaaaaaaahhhhh!! Why does this always happen! I spend hours finding the perfect campsite and I get all set up and ready and right about when it gets too late in the day to pack up and go somewhere else some truckful of local loco yokels shows up and decides to force the entire valley to listen to their goddamn cacophony of guns and—

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

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Oh for fuck's sake, now with the fucking dog! Ohhhh boy, boy oh boy, let me tell you what, if you don't shut up you stupid fucking pup, I am going to come down there and right after I murder your owners I am going to fucking force feed you their lifeless bodies till you choke to death on their remains you goddamn fucking—

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK

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That's it. That's fucking it! The last fucking straw! Last time I put up with idiots like this! I didn't drive all the way up here to listen to this! I'm not putting up with this shit anymore! This is the last fucking time! This valley ain't big enough for the all of us! Screw freewriting, I've got some freemurdering to do so yall better think about maybe not burning through all of that ammo cause I'm coming for y—

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG bang bang bang bang bang bang BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG bang bang bang bang bang bang BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

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BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

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bang bang bang bang bang bang

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BANG BANG bang

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BARK BARK

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BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

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BARK BARK

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BARK!

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BARK!!

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BARRRRRRK BARK BARK BARK!!!

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AWW SHUT UP SADIE THERE'S NOTHING OVER THERE YOU'RE BARKING AT SHADOWS AGAIN

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WAIT WHAT IN HELL?

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WHO THE HELL IS THAT?

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WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU FUCKING MANIAC—

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SLASH SLASH SLASH!

AAAAAHHHHH!!

SLAAASH! SLASHY SLASHH!

NO NO NO WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO PLEASE NO!!

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGG—

SLASHITY SLASH SLASH SSLAAASH!!!

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BARK BARK BARK!

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YELP!

YELP YELLP YEEEEEEELLLLLPP!!!

YELLLLL—

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Ahh, at last, peace and quiet.

I love it out here in the mountains.

All alone.

Far away from the mad constraints of civilization and society.

I feel free.

Free to do whatever I please.

Such an inspiring feeling.

Really sparks the creativity.

Say—I think maybe I'll do some freewriting!

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⛰ 🐶 🔫 💥 🔪 💀

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