When I married my first wife I thought I was the luckiest man in the world.
"You two look so good together," they would always say. It was a wedding like no other.
I danced myself silly.
It was truly was a fairy tale wedding.
I even made my own special vows.
Cheers to the happy couple!
That was us.
Two years later, however, and our marriage was on the rocks.
My job was stressful.
My boss was demanding.
And our relationship was beginning to suffer.
We thought about having a kid, but I was having difficulty performing.
Whenever we were about to get frisky I would get a call from work about an urgent problem that needed fixing and have to leave in a hurry.
It was enough to make me scream.
Then one day my wife had an idea. What about an exotic animal?
Since having a kid was out of the question, the thought did cross my mind.
It would bring joy to the household.
Give us something to bond over
And perhaps make up for something we lacked in our marriage.
So that day we resolved to get in our Volkswagen and head to the nearest rare animal dealer.
"The name's Zeke. I am the finest animal wrangler in this region".
"We are looking for a rare animal" I said.
"You are in luck," he said with a wild look in his eye.
"This thing can handle almost anything you throw at it".
"It's nice and all, I'm just not sure it's what we a looking for. You see, it's for our marriage"
"I understand completely," he said with a knowing glance.
"This reptile is particularly aggressive."
"Isn't he cute!" My wife said.
"So what'll it be?"
"He's adorable" I said. "I'm just not sure we can afford it".
"You can pay in installments."
"C'mon honey. Let's take him home".
"Ok," I said. "Do you take cards?"
"Of course he said"
"She needs wrangling," the dealer said.
"Can't I hire someone to do that for me?"
"I guess," he said, rolling his eyes "not man enough for the job, eh?"
"No! I'm a man. Gimme that reptile. I'll show you."
"That's what they all say. Pleasure doing business with you. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
He paused for a moment to catch his breath.
"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR PART TWO