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American Carnage
@americancarnage
57
Comedian and satirist. Better to be king for a night than schmuck for a lifetime.
Followers
1125
Following
381
Resource Credits
Available
Used
Location
New York, NY
Website
https://www.americancarnagemag.com
Created
2017-07-31 22:58
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Wallet
americancarnage
funny
2018-06-21 22:25
Melania's Jacket: Where was Jeeves????????
$ 2.625
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-11 22:15
Stepping Its Game Up: American Carnage Announces Plans To Become A "360 Multiplatform Vertically Integrated Global Media Brand"
Coming on the heels of a very successful week on Steemit, American Carnage, the social media platform's most successful comedy blog has announced plans to transition to a "360, Multi-Platform, Vertically
$ 21.537
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americancarnage
comedyopenmic
2018-06-09 02:28
Comedy Open Mic Round #17 Netflix Plans To Release 435 Original Snuff Films This Year
Netflix and chill? More like Netflix and kill! Today Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced that everyone's favorite online streaming service will release 435 original snuff films this year. Can you say
$ 1.579
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americancarnage
comedyopenmic
2018-06-08 23:48
Comedy Open Mic #17 Nomination
Nomination: I hereby nominate @themadgoat And @bleedpoet To enter the contest
$ 0.227
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americancarnage
comedyopenmic
2018-06-08 21:39
Comedy Open Mic Round # 17: Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will NOT Save Your Marriage: The Saga Continues
(I nominate @themadgoat and @bleedpoet) Chapter 1 When I married my first wife I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. "You two look so good together," they would always say. It was a
$ 1.894
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-07 20:11
DON'T DO IT! Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage Part 3
Although our marriage was on the rocks, we decided to try to make it work. We broke down and hired a live-in lizard wrangler. "G'arvo mate. I ga' a call say der' wiz a right bludger inis' house wan'
$ 10.938
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-06 20:23
Netflix Plans To Release 435 Original Snuff Films This Year
Netflix and chill? More like Netflix and kill! Today Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced that everyone's favorite online streaming service will release 435 original snuff films this year. Can you say
$ 17.159
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-05 19:02
PART TWO DON'T DO IT! Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage
At first things seemed all hunky dory when we took home this little bundle of joy. I asked my wife what we should call him. "Well I always dreamed of having a son and calling him Tristan." I
$ 20.184
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-04 20:38
DON'T DO IT!: Why Buying An Exotic Animal Will Not Save Your Marriage
When I married my first wife I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. "You two look so good together," they would always say. It was a wedding like no other. I danced myself silly. It was
$ 24.058
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-04 18:20
Tips For International Travel
Remember to tip the TSA agent After your full body cavity search Get inspired: make sure to write a hilarious stand up comedy routine about the inadequacy of airline peanuts If you see something say something.
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-03 18:21
Body Positivity FTW! Victoria's Secret Casts Hairy, Overweight Male Lingerie Model With Ulcer Who Wretches Uncontrollably On Everyone He Meets!
Elizabeth, NJ In a big win for the Body Acceptance Movement, Victoria's Secret announced today that they will cast Harry Kowalski, a dock worker and part time lingerie model from Northern, New Jersey.
$ 61.974
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americancarnage
funny
2018-06-02 19:44
Ew! Gross! These Disgusting Photos of Elderly Couples Will Show You That Love is Possible At Any Age
It's springtime and love is in the air, but it's not only the young who are having their fair share of hanky panky. These photos of elderly couples prove that love is possible at any age and we at American
$ 6.142
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-31 15:59
Smithsonian To Unveil New Exhibit Featuring FDR's Jetpack Chair
The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum announced today that an exhibit featuring President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's famous jet pack chair will open later this summer. Dr. Peter L. Jakab ,curator of the
$ 8.956
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-29 21:43
Awesome! Natalie Portman Swallows 10 Million Spider Eggs in the Hope this will Somehow Land her Another Role
I think we can all agree that Natalie Portman is basically perfect. A more beautiful star has never before graced the silver screen. Whether you've seen her "Closer" or "Black Swan,"
$ 6.062
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-25 17:21
Health Nuts Take Note: The FDA Now Recommends People Think about 5-7 clams a day
In a big win for proponents of shellfish ideation based diets, the Food and Drug Administration announced today that the mere act of thinking about 5 to 7 clams a day could pose significant health benefits
$ 6.830
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-16 20:08
We asked 938 Moms to Describe their Mother's Day in One Word and the Only Word they Could Think of was "Crummy"
Once a year in the United States we choose to honor the women who give us life and are there for us through thick and thin. Yet, when it comes to American moms, they couldn't be more disappointed in you.
$ 3.726
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-14 23:26
Supreme Court to Rule on Whether Justices Will be Allowed to "Go Commando" Under Robes
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-10 20:49
A New Craze is Taking off Among Seniors: Parkour
On a rooftop in downtown Portland, Maine a local daredevil ties his shoes. Pausing for a moment after cracking his knuckles, a laconic Wendell Wilson mutters to himself. "Well, it's now or never".
$ 11.763
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americancarnage
funny
2018-05-09 20:06
Who Wore it Better?
Photos from the Met Gala
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americancarnage
punchline
2018-05-08 22:19
At Met Gala Elon Musk Bested by Debonaire British Spy in High Stakes Game of Backgammon
Tech entrepreneur Elon Musk appeared at the Met Gala Monday with the Canadian musician Grimes. The appearance by the couple at the star studded event confirmed a hunch from a British MI6 agent that the
$ 8.551
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