Once upon a time there was a princess and a prince enjoying each other’s company rolling around playfully in bed. They were just getting to know each other intimately and there was much giggling, touching and tickling going on. The princess loved making her prince squeal and tickled him all over. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to her, her dainty little finger accidentally entered the prince’s belly button during a grand tickle. The princess didn’t know that this sacred grotto was the secret storage of the prince’s unknown belly button funk. As a matter of fact, he had never once thought to rinse his belly button and harbored quite a remarkable treasure of it.
All of a sudden the room filled with a foul stench. It was like the “end of summer smell of an exotic cheese shop that had been out of air conditioning all season”. The princess did not know from where this stench came and did not make the connection that everywhere she touched was laced with the putrid cheese smell. The scent was making her nauseous, light headed and confused. She became embarrassed and thought maybe the prince might have a slight gaseous problem, or worse even that he might be a mass murderer harboring a rotting corpse under the bed.
Needless to say, the tickling stopped and the princess politely excused herself and left.
Moral of the story: The prince did not get lucky.
This is a true story….
Seriously, before your next shower do a smell test on your own belly button. You’ll know what I mean. We all have this secret storage of hidden, sometimes decades old cheese. Don’t let this happen to you.
This column is meant for geeky, socially awkward gentlemen with great big hearts. It’s an advice column for those who didn’t have a mother, sister or girlfriend who might have cleared the air or answered questions regarding the mysterious opposite sex.
If you have questions for Coco’s Advice Column for Men…feel free to ask.
The next lesson will be: The Madness & Mystery of Matching (or your tie shows if you’re either a bachelor, or your mama/wife doesn’t love you).
