Has Anyone Seen My Resident Feet?
Errant Shoe In Review
You may remember: In Shoe Shots No. 13, the next-to-last installment of this enthralling series about footwear, we made a rather amazing discovery. An abandoned shoe on the bicycle path of the city in the rain. And we all puzzled at the why and wherefore of how a person might lose a single shoe, and still continue on with their day.
Many theories were put forth to explain this, with someone even suggesting a wacky idea about a Mod, Art Nouveau Superhero in neon pink, losing a shoe in a flash of high speed. I, of course, avoid any of this silliness and speculative gollywhomping during the writing of a serious post. But, while remaining as focused as possible about these shoe events, I am still amazed and confused by this discovery.
Regardless of how this shoe loss came about, someone DID lose a shoe.
~Here are those results in photo review ~
Historic Shoe Shots No. 13. -"Have You Seen My Significant Other?"
Original Pink Shoe Post
Some Major Speculation On The Loss Of One's Shoe
You Do The Best You Can
Lose one shoe on a trip across town? That's understandable. These things happen. A 'single' falls off your foot, and you're not sure where you lost it? You do your very best to hobble back home. The whole walking part may be a bit lopsided in the vertical plane of things with one shoe on, one off, but you'd get by. I know as kids growing up, we often practiced this routine, with the added parental guidance that goes along with these types of activities.
We Just Figured She Needed More Exercise
I remember this as a fairly common occurrence as a short person. Slide off the bed after Mom got one PF Flyer shoved on and finally tied, then run around the house like Secretariat while she chased us around waving the other shoe. Quietly muttering to us one of her tried and true Mother-mantras: "Come here! I'm not done! I'm gonna brain you with this other one. Get back here!!"
We got pretty good at ignoring entire minutes of these discussions, all the while cruising the house with one shoe on, one off. Tight cornering on the sock-side over the shiny linoleum was a bit touchy, but we seemed to manage without much loss in velocity. Sooner or later she would catch up to us, and we eventually went about our normal, two-shoe day.
Good Theory Put Into Practice
Maybe the person who lost this single pink shoe practiced the same Mother/child escape-artist shoe thing when young, and then found themselves thrust into the adult version of this lopsided footwear dilemma, after this loss.
Who could have guessed being a goofy kid would pay off once the adult world descended. Similar practice applied here, only at a much slower, safer, kattywampus walk home in one-half of a shoe pair.
After all, this IS the out of doors, surrounded by the natural elements...with no smooth-sliding linoleum for efficient cornering, or a cushy couch to bounce off of for instant reverse-drive when needed.
We're talking the all natural, shoe-less jungle out there. A person down to one shoe has to keep a sharp eye out for errant tree sticks, glass, and very hard stones on the shoe-less side of things to complete the journey home. No problem. Just 'high-low' hobble on down the street like any normal person would with only one shoe attached.
Not a born hobbler? There's always the option of HOPPING all the way home on one foot. A completely under-rated form of exercise that is bound to become wildly popular, once it catches on in the gyms and fitness clubs across the land.
Whatever the ups and down's may be to losing a single shoe, the getting home part is still quite do-able, whether a born hobble-type, or an adept, one-legged hopper. Just go slow.
That Was Weeks Ago, This Is Today
Jump ahead a few weeks, and into my normal travel about the city. Minding my own business, going about daily life, and what shows up in another bike lane over in the industrial part of town? Another case of abandoned footwear. But this is the incredible part, there were TWO shoes sitting in the bike lane this time. Not one lost shoe, but TWO! And they matched up, like they were meant to be together. An athletic shoe-version of my Grandparents.
If One Is Good, Two MUST Be Better
So now you've lost both shoes? Let's face it, this is not a 'two-must' sort of thing -- "If one is good, two must be better!" We're talking footwear, not Oreo's, micro brew 16's or immense bowls of Häagen-Dazs on a Saturday night. No, this borders on the ridiculous. You lose BOTH shoes at the same time? And you're not too sure where you lost them? You've got BIG problems getting home.
Maybe the person who lost both of these tennies also used to practice the same, one-shoe thing as we kids and the pink shoe person years ago. Though this is BOTH feet, and outside, in an industrial area. This requires some major adjustments over the in-house system of lost-shoe travel. We're talking a human 'two-footer', in stocking feet. Or worse -- if the person is all gone commando about footwear -- and doesn't even WEAR socks. Those folks are now finding their way home in nothing but their bare feet.
Socks or no socks, navigating the industrial minefield of glass, rocks, sticks and large shards of metal adds a whole new wrinkle to this hobble-home idea. And forget about that new age hopping-for-added-exercise thing.
Let's face it, hopscotching leg to leg and you land on a piece of discarded, torch-cut re bar on a bare or stocking'd foot, and you're not going anywhere without red lights and a loud siren. No, this promises to be an even slower, more painful trip back to the house. Good luck person missing BOTH of your tennie-runners today.
It's All About Perspective
I'm sure there are folks out there right about now spouting: "Maybe they just dropped those shoes from a bike or something, and all this getting home in their stocking feet business is nonsense." Well, I'm going to apply some Deep Science here, and de-bunk this idea.
I suppose a person COULD have dropped both of these shoes off the back of a bicycle as they rode by. But I find it highly un-likely one would lose BOTH shoes in the same place at the same time, when the shoes are not tied together.
Yes, yes, I suppose it's possible someone came along LATER and untied the shoes and tossed them farther apart, just for fun. But I don't really see why that would be all that fun. So I'm leaning away from this theory.
Also, the two shoes are actually quite far apart, and only LOOK close together, due to photo perspective. An amazing illusion, credited to the incredible photographic skills of whoever took these amazing photos.
If the shoes WERE dropped from a bike, which is less than a foot wide at the bike rack, one would expect the shoes to be closer together on the pavement. Look at the photo. They're a good four or five feet apart. No, I'm throwing this theory out with the proverbial bathwater.
The true-to-life, high degree of shoe-separation is evident in this next photo:
"They're Really Far Apart "
-- Aerial View Of The Shoe Pair --
Epilogue
As for this lost pair of shoes, they were gone the next time I wandered by this area. I cannot say with any certainty what led to the original shoe loss, or how the person finally got home without them. But I CAN offer a few ideas about where the shoes disappeared to, though none of these can be fully proven to the Gold Standard of The World of The Sciences either.
My Theories -- Where The Shoes Went And How
(A) They 'Got It' -- Final Resolution Once They Got Home
Whether they initially realized they were missing something or not...once the owner of the lost shoes finally arrived back home after hobbling through the hard, industrial muck, they dug out another pair of shoes, and walked back to pick up their lost articles of footwear. All was well once more.
(B) They 'Got It' -- After They Hit A Few Bumps In The Road. Final Resolution While Still On The Move
(B) The owner wised up a bit after stepping onto the 17th sharp stone in their stocking feet. After exclaiming "something seems amiss here", they looked down, noted the problem, checked around to see if anyone was looking, and hobbled back to tie the shoes back onto where they belong. They then proceeded to walk home once more.
(C) Someone Else Made A Big Score
This happened while the owner was making their way home, whether they realized something was missing or not. Either way, someone ELSE, with similar sized feet happened by, and either picked the shoes up and went home, or took the time to put them on, threw their old shoes in a bush, then proceeded home. Thus leaving our original shoe owner completely shoe-less once they realized what was missing. (I looked around in the bushes in the area, and saw no shoes, so I'm counting this as a somewhat lame theory.)
(D) The Good Old Street Sweeper
The street sweeper came by before the owner OR shoe scofflaw could re-claim the shoes, and gobbled them up with those spinning, wire brush twirlers, and then took them to the dump. A sad thought, but as that one saying goes: "Not everything in life has a happy ending, including a lost shoe." Which doesn't really pertain here, as this was two shoes.
Whatever the final outcome was, I hope SOMETHING nice happened to these shoes. After all, they kept me quite busy for an afternoon, and have provided cranio-fodder for a Steemit post of rare quality.
I do try not to lose sleep over these life-events, but sometimes it is hard.
Thanks for stopping in once again and reading about Photo Phootwear.
-Poste Script-
A Grand Thank You To The Civic Leaders Of Our Fair City
I Truly Appreciate The Extra Help In Finding Subjects For My Shoe Shots
I would like to give a shout out to our fair City Leaders, and the follow-up street maintenance and beautification crews for helping me out with my Shoe Shot project. Evidently they are now marking the errant shoe locations for me with a new paint system.
And yes, I realize the big arrow is part of the bike lane markings. I'm talking about the other, newer paint the city added for me on the side of the road.
You can see it, up in the top left corner of the photo. They've sprayed "Loc " in white paint, which no doubt is an abbreviation for "Location". This can only be a quick reference system to locate these types of lost street shoes, useful when I'm passing by in a car at speed.
Thank you, City Representatives, for thinking of me and my project. I appreciate your new-found attention and appreciation for the fine arts created by the citizens of our fair city.
NOTE: I picked up the black glove the crew lost while painting the "Loc " sign on the street, (visible in picture), and followed up in my civic duties once I got back home. I left a telephone message at the front-desk of the city, to report my find. They have not returned my call yet, but I'm quite certain they will. I'll keep the glove handy, so once they do call I can return it to the city worker that lost it...the rightful owner of the glove. (Unlike the shoes).
