Shane Kelly, a rich man who lived near Darwin, decided that he wanted to chuck a party. So he invited all his mates including Daren (Dazza), the only aborigine he knew.
The party was held around the pool in the backyard of Shane's mansion. Everyone was having a good time, the politicians were in their own little groups, the farmers in their little groups as the night went on everyone was dancing, eating prawns, oysters, BBQ'd lamb chops, snags…. Drinking ….. flirting and doing whatever else people do when having a buzz!
At the height of the party, Shane ran up onto the bands stage, grabbed a microphone and got everyones attention…. A couple of blokes carrying a tied up crock went to the pool and let it loose int he water. Shane then said, 'I have a 18ft croc in my pool and I'll give a million bucks to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'
The words were barely out of Shane's mouth when there was a big splash and everyone turned around and saw Dazza in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches that could put Muhamed Ali to shame, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and choke holds that even Chuck Norris couldn’t do, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like the guy from the Kung Fu series.
The water was splashing all over the place as the other guests all just stared in disbelief and fear. Both Dazza and the croc were screaming, groaning, going under and then back up for air literally raising hell as some of the young sheilas around the pool were screaming and fainting along with a few of the funny fella’s. Finally Dazza strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead fish.
Dazza then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Then Shane says, 'Well, Dazza mate, I reckon I owe you a million bucks.'
'Nah, you’re right boss, don't want it,' said Dazza.
Then Shane said, 'Mate, I have to give you something. You won the bet mate. How about a new Rolls?'
'No thanks. Don't want it,' answered Dazza.
Then Shane said, 'Come on mate, I insist on giving you something. That was bloody amazing. How about a new Rolex and some of mi company stocks? Again, Dazza said "Nahhhh."
Confused like a cat after a Pet Shop Boys reunion, Shane asked, 'Well Dazza, then what do you want mate?
Dazza said, 'I just want the f.... n c….t who pushed me into the pool.'
Every night before going to bed, I try and find something to share that can put a smile on all our faces, sometimes when looking through all the material available I don't know if I should cry or laugh!
& when I can't laugh at you, I'll laugh at me!
So, in my good ol' tradition I wish a:
Goodnight to everyone where it is night time, Good morning to everyone where it is morning and G'day to everyone else.
Yours truly
Jack
OUT