1. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him
2. Chuck Norris sits at the stand-up.
3. Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra and after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone
5. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
6. Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.
7. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris
8. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
9. When Chuck Norris was born, he immediately had sex with the first nurse he saw. He was her first. She was his third. That afternoon.
10. Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
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