In a shocking move, the New England patriots are being denied access to the essential snake oil that has been available to them for the past several seasons and has been directly linked to their incredible success.
It seems Bill Belicheck is willing to rely solely on his deal with the Devil in order to propel his team to victory.
According to League Sources, Belicheck has said that Tom Brady's fitness guru, Alex Guerrero, will not be allowed to be on the team plane or the sidelines.
This will be very difficult for all of the members of the team who rely on Guerrero's snake oil to keep them performing at their peak levels.
For some reason, here is what Justin Bieber had to say about the situation:
No one is sure what made Belicheck decide to ban Guerrero.
There have only been two occasions where the FTC has investigated products promoted by Guerrero. In both cases, the FTC found the products were frauds. One of them was a drink that claimed to prevent concussions. The other claimed to cure cancer.
So what? It's not like anyone is so desperate to save themselves or a loved one that they would give money to a con man claiming to be a doctor.
Hopefully the Patriots can continue to stave off concussions and cancer without Brady and Guerrero's magical elixir.