Shia LeBeouf and I are competing to see who can sell the most tickets to the movies we are each currently starring in.



What a coincidence, neither am I.


I know you have never heard of me and he has been in some pretty big movies like Disturbia, The Transformers and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but I really thought I could take him.

Currently I am only losing by 1 ticket!!!!

That is correct. His new movie Man Down has only sold one more ticket than me.

Unfortunately I don't think I can possibly catch him.

Why you might ask?

I have never been in a movie. Nor do I intend to be in one.

That is correct, I have no movie and Shia is only beating me by 1 ticket sold. That is because when his new movie "opened" in one and only one theater in the U.K. only one person went.

It may be true that this was just a publicity stunt (the movie was simultaneously released on digital demand) but 1 ticket is still pretty bad. Doesn't he have any family members. When my kids are in a stupid school play we have to buy at least six tickets.

Poor Shia.

Oh wait. Maybe things are looking up for Shia.



Nobody dressed like this could be sad.