We always want to help the people we love to change and improve their lives. Sometimes we even do it without asking by forcing the people most dear to us to do what we feel is best for them.
Just think about those times when your mother said you have to finish all your vegetables to get dessert. Now this approach creates massive resistance and has a short lived effect that will become weaker and weaker as the ability to force the action decreases.
To a teenager, the same condition about dessert is meaningless because a teenager will not finish his vegetables just to make a point.
So if making someone do what is good for them doesn't work and creates the opposite effect, how is it possible to create positive change in the lives of people that matter to you?
From about 17 years old I started paying attention to my nutrition. I used to avoid eating a lot of sweets and trying to lower the amount of fatty foods I ate, esspecially important for me was eating clean with the least possible amount of processed food.
This habit kept me pretty lean and healthy most of the time.
When I met my wife, I was 22 and she was 19 and as our relationship started to progress, I was really worried about all the proccessed and bad food she was eating. Everything in her mothers kitchen was filled with mayonnaise and butter, she and her were constantly drinking sodas and other sugary drinks. I could see that this can lead to serious consequences since her father just had a stroke a couple of years earlier, her mother was well over 90 kg and her sister was obese with a weight exceeding 100 kg.
I knew I had to do something.
I really couldn't force my wife to do anything so I decided to get creative and simply start telling her stories about we were eating while being a perfect example for her. Although it was first accepted with resistance, I slowly saw she was getting more concious about her food choices both at restaurants and at her family home were she was living.
She slowly started to get leaner and when results began to show she became more and more aware of her habits.
Today 11 years later, she eats a lot of vegetables and fruits, she drinks only water and mayonnaise is considered a poisonous product in our home. She is still eating meats and somtimes snacks on a bag of chips the situation has improved drastically since we met, and so did her health.
The only way to truly influence someone is by being an example. If I wasn't so obsessed on clean eating my wife would have never done such a change, she followed my example.
When we really want to help our loved ones we need to become an example for them. If you want you kid eating more vegetables make sure you are eating a lot of vegetables.
If you want your partner to start working out to lose some weight, start working put yourself even if you don't need to.
If you want create a culture of excellence innyour business become the hardest worker their.
And to top it all of always share your experience, but not in a patronizing or douchey way. Tell stories of your struggles and your success without being even slightly judgemental of critical.
Simple share.
As they say, If you talk the talk make sure you are walking the walk as well.
This way you will actually help those that are dear to you to bring posive change to their lives.
Thank you for your time.
With love.
Eugene
